Two Birds, One Stone is
a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places and
incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used
in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual events, locales or
persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
by Barbara Elsborg
Cover design by B4Jay
Edited by Deco
Published by Smashwords
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Two Birds, One Stone
at the back of the room well out of everyone’s way. She tried to
look eager and attentive as Mr. White spoke, but her gaze slid first
to his silver wings and then to the line of instructors standing
behind him. One guy was new, all long and lean and luscious, resting
with one foot propped against the wall. He had short black hair, the
darkest eyes she’d ever seen and a ferocious scowl on his
stubble-shadowed face. Sadly, the scowl was directed at Emma. Of
course it was. No doubt her reputation preceded her.
are the fortunate few,” said Mr. White. “Our society’s elite.”
tuned back in, but
she knew it all by heart. Twelve weeks of the same thing, day after
day, she could have made the speech for him.
be the winged
sentinels of our community, upholding the law and righting wrongs.”
tuned out again. Emma didn’t understand why there needed to be any
upholding of the law in Heaven. Wasn’t this where good people came?
But then Heaven hadn’t turned out to be as she’d imagined. No
fluffy white clouds and harps, but towering accommodation blocks,
traffic jams and bad tempers. Very few up here had wings to get
around and Emma had been told on arrival, she was one of the blessed
ones. The birds of paradise.
she wasn’t, because despite weeks of training, with no sign of a
single feather, she was beginning to think someone had made a mistake
about where she belonged. She’d even risked suggesting that and Mr.
White had laughed as if she’d said something funny. But first thing
when she woke, Emma checked for horns and a tail. She was beginning
to find them.
This is so boring.
White finished speaking, Emma couldn’t help but notice the speed
with which the instructors picked their trainees and avoided her. The
scowling guy realised he’d been left with no choice and walked over
to her looking as though he’d found chewing gum stuck to his shoe.
She wanted to apologise and she hadn’t even done anything. Yet.
“Dex,” he snapped.
she found herself snapping back.
on with it.”
bit back her retort about
him taking a flying leap and leaned over, hands on her knees,
imagining feathers sprouting from her back, ones that would poke him
in the eye and anywhere else it might hurt. A lot. The arrogant
no time at all,
grey wings were fluttering all over the room and Emma was sneezing.
The room slowly emptied as excited trainees went for their first
flying lesson. Emma couldn’t help but feel jealous. She gave up
pushing and straightened.
circled her. “What’s the
hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” For the last twelve weeks she’d passed everything
with flying colours—except the flying part.
level nine angel and no wings?” he barked. “Of course there’s
something wrong with you. Allergic to feathers?”
But she sneezed again.
He raised his eyebrows.
“Maybe I’m allergic
to you,” she muttered.
of heights?” he asked.
followed his lovely arse up the stairs. Apart from his sunny
personality, Dex was exactly her type. Tall with slim hips, long legs
and bitten fingernails—just like hers.
“So how did you end
up here?” she asked.
came to such an abrupt halt, she almost nose-dived into his backside.
Emma reared away as he turned. Oh,
eye level with his crotch. That bulge… She
dragged her gaze to his face.
died,” he said
through gritted teeth, then carried on up the stairs.
sighed. “Yeah, me too.”
shoulders shook. Amused
or aggravated? She
followed him out onto the flat roof and exhaled at the view. She’d
not been this high before. Gleaming towers of glass and steel pierced
a pristine blue sky. Everything up here was brighter and clearer. She
imagined herself flying and smiled. She wanted wings, she really did,
but they just wouldn’t emerge.
gulped when she looked at Dex. His wings were out, dazzling white and
tipped with cobalt blue. Magnificent.
stomach lurched with longing for him and
his wings. She wasn’t sure what she liked the look of more.
Okay, forget the wings.
She’d take him.
walked to the edge of the roof and beckoned. As she stood by his
side, his breath washed her cheek and Emma swallowed to bring
moisture back into her mouth. When he slid his hand gently down her
back, her lungs stopped working.
“Okay?” he asked.
going to kiss me!
and pushed her off the roof. Emma squealed as she fell like a stone.
had hoped the shock would make her wings come straight out, but it
folded his feathers close to his body and zoomed down. Emma was
flapping her arms which made him smile.
was kind of cute, if he’d been interested, which he wasn’t.
his cock seemed to disagree.
But Dex liked petite brunettes, not tall, blonde chicks with
problems. Not that he’d been near any bird since he arrived here a
year ago. He’d refused to train a female until Mr. White had
threatened to ground him if he didn’t. Dex put on an extra burst of
speed and scooped Emma into his arms before she fell into the
fountain. The downdraft drenched those sitting around the rim. Dex
winced as they yelled and then braced himself for the anticipated
blast of abuse from Emma.
beamed at him, one
hand around his neck twisting his hair in her fingers, her eyes wide
open and greener than they had any right to be. “Can we do that
again? How many fountains are there in the city?”
A snort of laughter
escaped his lips.
it didn’t work
though,” she said. “But when you think about it, what was there
to be scared of falling from a great height? I’m already dead.”
was impressed. That she could lose her fear so fast confirmed she was
can still damage your body.”
Which was true. “Healing is long and painful.” Which was not.
in a grin. “I trust you to catch me. Fly as high as you
can—er—unless your middle name’s Icarus.”
still whooping with joy the tenth time he dropped her. Dex’s heart
pounded harder and harder as he left the catch later and later.
Finally, he gave up on her wings coming out, scooped her up and flew
her to his apartment. He landed on the balcony, retracted his
feathers and with reluctance put Emma down. She felt right in his
arms, fitted perfectly against him and every time he’d grabbed her
before she hit the ground, she’d laughed so hard she made him grin.
It was a long time since he’d smiled as much.
“How long do I have
to wait to get a place like this?” she asked as he ushered her
soon as you can fly and you’ve completed the rest of your training.
You can recreate the home you left behind or go for something
turned in a circle and he watched her take in his photographs, stacks
of CDs, DVDs, books,
his game system, the tatty red couch and huge flat screen TV.
“You brought your old
life with you.”
“Not all of it,” he
dropped onto the couch. “It’s lovely in here, and nice not to be
surrounded by people. I’ve spent twelve weeks in the dormitory. Mr.
White says they’ve never had anyone who’s had to repeat the
training as many times as me. I don’t know why he doesn’t give up
“I told him maybe
there’d been a mistake.”
Dex raised his
eyebrows. “I bet that went down well. Mr. White does not make
up eventually. I really hate it when a new lot arrive and they’re
all upset and keep going over and over why they died and fretting
about those they left behind. I’ve heard so many sad stories it’s
a wonder I’m not clinically depressed. I’m desperate that my
wings come out.”
sat next to her, his thigh resting against hers. “Maybe that’s
what it is. You’re too desperate. You need to relax. You need
She gave a deep sigh.
“It’s all I’ve been able to think about for twelve flipping
weeks. Will it happen today? No, then tomorrow. No, then the day
after. I just don’t think it’s meant to be.”
Dex pressed his thigh a
little harder into hers. “As I said, you need distracting.”
opened her eyes wide and smiled. “Are you volunteering? Do you have
a jigsaw puzzle? I love jigsaws.”
is there a proper procedure?” she asked. “Distraction 101?”
was pretty sure what he had in mind wasn’t in the training
manual—not that he’d read it all. Seven
hundred and thirty-two pages? No way was he ploughing through that.
Her green eyes stared steadily into his and he watched them mist
over, change from teasing playfulness to something more serious.
could try,” he murmured.
Try what? I’ve forgotten what I said,” she whispered.
He moved closer.
moved closer. “Oh
yeah. That’s kind of you.”
“One kiss. How can it
“It might if you
knocked me over, or bit me, or bit my tongue.”
slipped his hands gently
around her throat and traced the line of her jaw with his thumbs.
Nine months, three weeks, two days since he’d last…but he wasn’t
counting. Dex tipped his head, pulled her lips against his and was
instantly lost. She melted against him, dissolved into him, and slow
and hot turned fast and greedy in an instant.
taste of her made his head spin. The feel of her tongue dipping
into his mouth sent his pulse rate into orbit. Dex was dimly aware
they were ripping the clothes from each other, fingers tearing at
buttons, hands yanking down trousers, mouths always linked. His
erection was rock hard, cradled against her soft belly. Then they
fell off the couch onto the floor and all he could think about was
touching her everywhere, kissing her everywhere, licking her
smelled so sweet that every
cell in his body felt electrified. Her breasts were small and round,
topped with dusky nipples and tasted like—Oh
taste of life.
Memories flooded back, need roared like a lion and Dex gulped air he
no longer needed.
haven’t since—we don’t…need anything, do we?” she
shook his head. No
disease. No kids. Pure decadent pleasure.
He cupped her breasts
in his palms. “You’re beautiful.”
one had ever said that to her before,
not even to her breasts, and Emma bit back her gulp. When Dex took a
nipple in his mouth and sucked, she pressed her thighs together to
contain the rush of hot pleasure. Emma was desperate for him to be
inside her. His fingers danced over her belly and slid between her
legs. His groan almost made her come.
“You’re so wet,”
pushed one finger inside her and Emma whimpered. Two fingers and her
back arched. More,
more, more. He
played with her clit—rubbing, stroking and teasing while her orgasm
can’t wait any longer,” Dex said with a low moan.
slipped his hands under her hips and slid into her in one long, hard,
deep thrust. Emma came in an instant, her muscles spasming around his
cock as stars burst in her head.
Wow wow wow wow wow.
close your eyes,” he murmured
and Emma forced her lids open.
smiled and reached for her hands, entwining his fingers with hers as
he began to move. He watched her face as he rocked into her and Emma
stared into his dark eyes, black as obsidian. She lifted her hips
into his thrust, tightening her muscles around him before he pulled
back to drive forward again.
“Oh God,” Dex
panted, his face taut with strain.
could feel something sparking inside her and groaned.
thrust seemed to take him deeper. Every withdrawal, she wanted him
back. Emma had never made love like this before, eyes open, hands
together, with such an awareness of the other person.
“Fuck, fuck, I
can’t—” Dex gasped.
long, deep plunge drew cries from them both and she felt the warm
spurt of his cum as orgasm rolled over her again, rushing through her
blood, down every limb, carrying her on a rolling wave of adrenaline.
Dex shuddered as he emptied himself inside her and Emma felt every
pulse, every jet.
held himself above her for a long moment, staring into her eyes and
then rolled so she lay on top of him, his cock still wedged inside
her. Dex’s hands slid across her back, paused between her shoulder
blades and with a sinking feeling, Emma remembered what this had been
about. Distraction. Her wings.
buried her face in the hollow between his neck and shoulder and
blinked back tears.
This wasn’t about love.
are you here?” Dex
whispered. “What happened?”
not to laugh?”
moron threw a frozen chicken out of his window and it hit me on the
could feel Dex shaking. “You’re laughing. Liar.”
tried to push herself up but he held her down and then drew circles
on her back.
“I’m trembling in
indignation,” he said.
elbowed him in the chest and he grunted.
“How about you?”
fingers froze mid-circle. Emma sighed. She got that he was sensitive
about the way he’d died, but—
jolted and twisted round. “Oh my God, what? Where? A demon? A
zombie? Not a vampire?”
rolled his eyes
and peered over her shoulder onto her back. “Ah.”
chewed her lip. “Is that ah—pathetic, or ah—magnifico?”
His lack of response
was her answer.
lifted her off his cock, stood and pulled her to her feet. He tugged
her toward the far wall. When Emma stood in front of the mirror,
staring at her tousled hair and flushed face, and Dex’s tight
mouth, she was afraid to turn. She already knew she didn’t have
proper wings because she couldn’t see them hanging on either side
of her body. She took a deep breath, faced Dex and then looked over
flooded her heart. The two clumps of fluffy feathers nestling between
her shoulder blades that vaguely resembled the ugly wings of giant
baby birds. Shit.
swallowed hard. “Well, at least I know now. There must have been a
about my classification. Probably because I was killed by a chicken.”
“Hey.” Dex pulled
her into his arms and Emma let herself sag against him. “They’re
kind of cute.”
they’re not. I can’t fly with these.”
He held her out, his
hands cupping her face and looked into her eyes. “Then fly with
Emma did—several times until they slumped into an exhausted sleep,
tangled in each other’s arms.
find herself lying face down in bed. She was pressed up against Dex
who rested on his back, his hand clasping her backside even in sleep.
Dawn was breaking, the room suffused with a golden glow. As was Emma.
was inventive, attentive and very impressive. She’d come so many
times she’d lost count. Now she ached. All over. Particularly her
back. She rolled her shoulders and jumped as something clattered to
the floor behind her. God,
is someone there? Whoever
it was had a great view of her bare bottom. Emma turned and heard
another crash from the other side of the room.
tried to burrow under Dex. “There’s someone in here with us.”
“What?” He lifted
his head and reared up. “Fuck!”
jolted and watched in horror as a lamp, book and glass of water
sailed off a bedside table.
“Don’t move,” Dex
whipped round and Dex ducked as a large white wing whistled over his
“I’ve got wings!”
tensed, tried to bring her wings in, shot straight up to the ceiling,
hit her head and then tumbled down to land in an untidy heap of
feathers on the bed, dragging a wall painting and the light shade
down with her. “Ouch.”
Dex wrapped his arms
grinned. “You did it!”
wings curled in and she gasped when she saw the cobalt blue tips.
“Hey, they’re like yours.”
wings unfurled gracefully behind him and wrapped around both of them.
like mine,” he said.
couldn’t believe how much he wanted her. Dex hadn’t felt this
strongly about anything or anyone since he realized he was dead. He’d
drifted in a morose sulk watching others learn how to be happy again
and knowing that would never be him. Women were treacherous. A lesson
learned too late.
He’d been wrong.
Emma was the first he’d
wanted to be with and now he didn’t want to let her go.
She’s my last, my
Once he started, he found it impossible to stop. All teeth and lips
and tongues, they were smiling, laughing and kissing all at the same
time. Their wings brushed together, tip to tip, in their own intimate
embrace. Sensation heightened, every molecule of his body headed
he touched her soft folds with one of his primary feathers, Emma gave
such a cry of joy, his heart ached. His cock was painfully hard,
desperate for her warmth and as he sank into her, Dex whispered, “I
eyes opened wide and he saw her response in her smile.
began to move like seasoned lovers, intuitively matching the other’s
rhythm, building like a piece of music to a
crashing finale, sliding fast and shallow, deep and slow until
neither could hold back. Emma cried out loudly as she came and Dex
exploded into her and felt her milk him of everything he had.
was beyond them for a while. Wings joined, bodies pressed together
along their lengths, Dex was finally in heaven. Emma stroked his
face, ran her fingers around his chin, over his lips, down his
“Why are you here?”
exhaled. The first time he’d admitted it, even to himself.
hit me with her car and reversed over me twice. Seemed deliberate.”
“Unless she was a
terrible driver. I can’t parallel park to save my life.” Emma
was sick, thought
I was cheating on her. I’d never do that. She wasn’t thinking
Emma clutched his
part of that was my fault,” he whispered.
“I should have made her get help. Instead, I wanted to walk away.”
“You paid a heavy
ran his finger across her lips. “I thought so. I don’t think that
rang and when it didn’t stop, Dex grabbed it.
“How’s it going
with Emma?” asked Mr. White.
still working on her. Could take some time.” He dropped the phone.
White turned to The Boss who sat opposite. “You were right about
putting them together. She’s made him happy. He’s brought out her
Boss smiled. “Two
birds with one stone.”
Mr. White rolled his
eyes. The Boss did like his clichés.
About the Author
Barbara Elsborg lives
in Kent in the south of England. She always wanted to be a spy, but
having confessed to everyone without them even resorting to torture,
she decided it was not for her. Vulcanology scorched her feet. A
morbid fear of sharks put paid to marine biology. So instead, she
spent several years successfully selling cyanide.
After dragging up two
rotten, ungrateful children and frustrating her sexy, devoted,
wonderful husband (who can now stop twisting her arm), she finally
has time to conduct an affair with an electrifying, plugged-in
Her books feature
quirky heroines and bad boys, and she hopes they are as much fun to
read as they are to write.
loves hearing from readers and can be contacted at
firstname.lastname@example.org If you’d like to hear about future releases
please ask to be put on her mailing list.
There are a few linked
books in this list but all can be read as stand-alones.
Summer Girl Winter Boy
Kiss a Falling Star
An Ordinary Girl
(Bedlingham brothers book 1)
Something About Polly
(Bedlingham brothers book 2)
Doing the Right Thing
(Mansell brothers book 1)
Finding the Right One
(Mansell brothers book 2)
The Princess and the
Snow Play (novella)
On the Right Track
Short Stories (MF)
The Bad Widow
Two Birds, One Stone
Short Stories (MM)
Crossing the Line
With or Without Him
Give Yourself Away
With or Without Him
Falling (Fall and Break
Breaking (Fall and
Break book 2)
Bloodline (Norwood book
The Demon You Know
(Norwood book 3)
Anna in the Middle
Girl Most Likely to
Just What She Wants
Paranormal MFs and
Perfect Trouble MF
Power of Love MF
Kiss Interrupted MF
Jumping in Puddles MF
(Norwood book 1)
The Small Print MMF
Worlds Apart MMF
The Consolation Prize
MF (Trueblood book 1)
Falling for You MF
(Trueblood book 2)
Lightning in a Bottle
MF ((Trueblood book 3)
The Misfits MMF
(Trueblood book 4)
Fight to Remember MMF
(Trueblood book 5)
Lucy in the Sky MF (sci
Taking Stock MMF (sci
Just One Bite MF