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Screwed up

Copyright 2017 Amy Sparks

Published by Aria Grey at Smashwords

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Other Books By Amy Sparks

He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not…


my fiction life


Sincerely, Romeo

A Whisper in the Wind

Death. It's an amazing word if you think about it. Death. The way how people think death is some crazy, scary thing, but for me? It's somehow not. A word like that thrills my life, and somehow I wanna learn more about that word. Since I'm talking about death, you might think that I'm some crazy, psychopath that's depressed. Yeah, well I'm not. Or maybe I am. Who knows. Some people say I'm depressed, some people say I'm crazy and some people just think I'm screwed up. But hey, it's the thought that counts. My parents always knew there was something wrong with me, and they've tried everything. I mean everything. They took me to over twenty therapists that thought could help me, but somehow it didn't work. Boo hoo. My teachers have been putting me through guidance at school every lunch and after school, but somehow that doesn't work either. They also told me to go to some group meetings that are filled with people that have problems just like me, but I've never gone. Not once. I don't need some person telling me how to "fix" myself and how to "help" myself through this damned life. But anyway, I'm getting way out of hand here, oh, by the way, my name is Genesis.

Chapter One

The cold wind hits the back of my head with a pressure that makes me shiver hard. It's about seven in the morning and a Monday. Great right? I have school today which means that I gotta put on my "happy" face so that everyone thinks that I'm somewhat fine and happy in this life. I grab the covers and pull them off me as I get up. I take a good long stare at the ceiling and say the words that always come up in my magical mind.

        "So, another day, another screwed up life. Not dead yet, but I'll wait." I somehow always wait. I shake my head at the words boggle my mind and leave me to sadden for how my life might turn out. I walk to the other side of my room, where my mirror is. I look in the mirror and see this girl that confuses me. A small yet strong girl. With green eyes, and a blue shimmer in them. Chestnut hair, and tiny little freckles on both cheeks. Pale, yet clear skin, and a good height for a seventeen-year-old. I sigh as I make myself walk out of my room and into the bathroom. I do my normal routine that I always do in the morning, which starts with putting up my hair so I can wash my face. My hair is so soft, that it makes you think that you're holding a feather. I put my hair in a high messy bun, and wash my face with some soap and water. After I splatter on some face cream and smile in front of the mirror as if that's what I always do in the morning. I'm a fraud, even for myself. I've always been a fraud for my whole life, but people can see through me. They're just scared to understand me. Later I brush my teeth and then I hop into the shower. I shed my clothes off and hop into the bathtub, and turn on the cold water. The icy water hits my head and I shiver as it wets my whole body. I never take a shower with warm water or hot water. Always cold water. Cold water somehow makes me feel alive, even though being alive is the last thing I think about. After my cold shower, I grab a towel and wrap it around my body and my hair. I walk out the bathroom and feel the cold air hitting me. As soon as I take one step my stupid ass dog comes running in between my legs, which makes me lose control of myself and I fall right on the hard, cold floor.

      "Seriously?!" I say to my dog, even though I don't even think he knows a single English word. I try to get up without losing my towel, which is a success. I make way into my room and close the door. I drop the towel and change as fast as I can so I won't be late for school. You see, the thing is, I don't give a care in the world for school, but somehow my marks still matter to me, and if I'm at least late, I might just commit suicide extra early. What can I say? I'm screwed up. I put on some sweatpants and a big sweatshirt that makes me feel warm in a second. I put on a pair of thick socks and I leave my hair down so it can dry. I don't even need to comb it because it's so soft and silky, so I just run downstairs to the kitchen so I can eat my breakfast. As soon as I open the kitchen door, I'm greeted by my mom. My dad, of course, is at work, and my mom always leaves work as soon as I go to school. She somehow thinks I might do something crazy like killing myself. Like I'd ever do that at home. Or at school. I would rather die somewhere I love. Like the beach, or in the forest, or around my favorite foods. I groan as she gives me a hug and kisses my head. My mom is honestly beautiful. She has a long tall physique, and long, straight brown hair. She has brown eyes and a beautiful smile that can make anyone smile back. I got my physique from her, and my hair too. I got my eye color from my father and I guess my personality too. My dad is also tall, with brown hair and beautiful eyes. I guess I got lucky. The only thing that confuses me is how I got my freckles. No one in my family has freckles, and somehow I'm the only one who got it. Most people think that I'm a natural redhead, but I just dyed my hair brown, like that would ever happen. My freckles are not red, so I don't know where they're getting the "redhead" from. As I'm getting back from reality, I make way to the kitchen and grab an apple from the kitchen and my mug that's filled with black coffee. Like my soul of course. The more black and tasteless the coffee is, the more I love it. I can hear my mother calling me, but I can't hear her. As soon as I make way to the front door I hear my mom calling me.

       "Don't forget Genesis! Your father and I are having people over around six o'clock for dinner, and I hope you can join us, dear." The way my mother says "dear" makes me cringe. Like damn, it's not the 1800's. I have no idea what time period my mother is living in right now, but I don't care. I rather just go to school instead fight with her on how she talks and all.

     "Yeah, sure mom. I'll uh, be there for sure. I gotta go though. Bye." I say as I open the door and walk out of my house. I hear my mother's "bye" echoing throughout the house, and I slam the door as fast as I can so it doesn't echo out. I walk to my car and open the door with my keys. Each of my parents has a car, and also me. Somehow we can't be some normal family who shares cars and are okay with driving someone else's car. But no, my family is not even close to being like a normal family. My dad hates borrowing my mom's car, and my mom hates borrowing my dad's car. Some twisted up parents that I have. But hey, what can you do? I get in my red Ford and slam the door shut. I put on my seatbelt and put the key in the ignition and start the car. Honestly, I don't really need to drive to school but I know for sure that if I walk to school, someone will talk to me, which will make me so annoyed I might just punch the crap out of them. I just don't like people. I arrive at the school and I park my car where I always park it. Somewhere that is close to the school, so I don't have to run, and somewhere that no "cool" people or any other person can be parked beside me and ask me "Oh, you're that girl who loves death right?" Give me a damn break already. I reach behind the back seat to grab my bag and my books, and my coffee too. As I grab my book, I accidentally hit the car horn with my elbow and it just lets out a huge honk!

     "Mother F!...." I instantly shut my mouth before I say the "F" word.   I'm honestly the type of person who swears 24/7, but I'm trying to change myself, and the perspective on how I see life. But yeah, it's not quite working well as I thought it would be. I ignore the group of people who are staring at my car since it just let out a huge honk for nothing. I open the car door and try to fix myself. I fix my bag strap and my big ass hoodie and I check the seats if I missed anything. Not seeing anything, I slam the car door which creates another loud noise, but eh, I don't give a crap anymore. I lock my car and I walk to the school without looking like an idiot. As I may way into the school, a hand stops me. Oh shit. As I turn around I see my principal, Mr. Tompelson.

        "Crap..." I whisper under my breath, but I know for sure he heard me. Everyone hears me, so of course, he heard me swear. Of course. I give Mr. Tompelson a big smile, but of course, he doesn't buy it.

       "Let's go Ms. Swan." He says my last name like we're in the army. I cringe when he says my last name since my last name is basically the name of a white ass bird. Swan. Ugh. "Genesis Swan." More like "The screwed up kid." Yeah, that's more like it. I follow my principal down the hall and I know for sure that about the whole hallway of students are staring me. They all know who I am. Everyone know's who I am. For someone who's trying to be hidden from the world, I'm not doing a pretty good job. I take a big sip from my mug and swallow the still piping hot coffee. The coffee burns my throat, but it's not like I care. I don't even react to it. Mr. Tompelson opens his office door and lets me in first.

      "Such a gentleman. Thank you." I say, which makes him look even madder. Like what the hell did I ever do to this old grump? His office is honestly like a big room. He has his desk filled with papers and binders, as he makes way for them. He orders me to sit down, which of course I do because I ain't gonna make him madder then he already is. That's asking for death, and as much as I so want that, I'm just not ready. I sit down and cross my legs, so I can look very professional, and so I can hold my books in a comfortable way. Mr. Tompelson clears his throat, which sounds extremely disgusting and it's making me lose my appetite. Doesn't this dude know any manners? Oh wait, he doesn't since he honestly grabbed me for a "talk."

       "Ms. Swan, you do know why you're here right?" He says in a polite tone. Finally a tone I can communicate with.

       "Uh... because I'm extremely an awesome person and I deserve a million dollars right?" I say with an exaggerated tone.

       "Ms. Swan! You are here because all of your teachers are telling me that you keep coming to class with a depressing set of vibe! He keeps on shouting and honestly he's making no sense whatsoever.

      "Uh, I don't understand. So, I'm not getting the million dollars?" He groans and put his hands through his hair and tugs on the ends. Oh shit, I'm dead.

      "Genesis, look. You are a very sweet, and intelligent girl. But your teachers are telling me that they think you are "depressed." He adds air quotes to the word "depressed" and it's making me mad. I instantly stand up and shout at him.

     "Mr. Tompelson, I'm not depressed! Am I just crazy for acting like a normal person? Is it that crazy to think about death every single day? Is it crazy to just think hell, and heaven and how no one where they're gonna go when they die? Is it crazy to just imagine you're death and the pain you're gonna feel? Is it?!" I'm gasping like I've run out of breath, and honestly, I am out of breath. Is this where I'm gonna die? In the middle of my principal's office because I can't breathe? Huh, not a bad place, but not a great one. I bit my lip and sit down.

       "Genesis, please. Look, we know that your parents have taken you to some therapists and your teachers have been trying to help you too at school and after school to Genesis. Please, just let us help you." Mr. Tompelson sits up and takes a deep breath. Let him help me? Hell no. I don't need help, all I need is my little hades coming to pick me up and take me home. I sit up and walk to the door.

      "Sorry, Mr. Tompelson. I don't need help. I don't want help. To make you feel better, I'm not depressed, I'm just crazy for thinking like a normal person." And I leave with those words fluttering around his office.

Chapter Two

I'm in English class right now and I'm about to kill myself. Ha, funny right? My teacher, Ms. Verna, is trying to make everybody write about how life would be like without humans, and I'm stuck. Like dead on stuck. Honestly, I have no problem with writing how humans are not really needed in this sad, old life, but I can't just write that. Ms. Vern would just tell Mr. Tompelson on what I wrote and he's gonna tell my parents, and their gonna take me to some other therapist that's gonna tell me the same words every other therapist has told me. "She's just depressed." F them. Like whenever people tell me that I'm just depressed it makes me so mad, hell I could just punch the crap out of them. But I won't because it's so not worth punching the crap out of someone. I grab a pen from my pencil case and I draw some fake tats on my arm. I write "death is life" on my wrist and I blow on it so it doesn't smudge off. As I blow it off I hear a voice behind me that breaks me out of my zone. Oh crap, it's a boy. This boy. Matthew Brown, the boy who everyone admires and somehow thinks he's the God of this school. Pff, give me a break. This dude doesn't even know how to add simple numbers, yet he's the God of the school? I groan and turn around to hear what he has to say.

       "What?" I say with a harsh tone. A tone he deserves so I can't be blamed for this. He gives me a smirk that makes the girls faint of course. But for me? Uh hell no. This stupid idiot can't even make me smile. Only make me sadden for his parents and his life. Matthew comes closer and gives another one of his "handsome" smiles. Great..

        "You know Genesis, death is not the answer for everything. Death is not life." Matthew winks at me and I give a disgusted look at him. I flip him off and that makes him laugh.

        "You know Matthew, life is not all filled happiness. Life is honestly filled with crap and shitty people just like you. No wonder my life is feeling like crap because people like you make it like that. Point one for me, point zero for you." I say, and I turn around to continue writing on my damn hand. That boy can shut up and continue admiring himself if he wants. I just won, and he just lost. What I didn't know was that everyone is somehow staring at me. Like full on staring at me. Some pervs. I stand up and open my stupid ass mouth while Ms. Vern is outside of the classroom.

       "What? If you guys think I'm somehow hitting on your stupid popular kid here, I'm not. I rather honestly kiss a dog. Also, you people can all suck it!" And I leave the classroom with my head held high, and my middle fingers up in the air like I own this damn school.  Well, stupid people zero, Genesis one. I walk out of the classroom and honestly, I leave the school. I leave it like there's no need for me to come back, and also I don't think people will even care that I left. It's not like they care about me. Hell, my parents don't even care for me. I know for sure that Ms. Vern will notice that I'm gone, or maybe someone will tell her that "crazy girl" just left the classroom. Who cares. I open the doors of the school and walk out into the cold air. I know I don't want to leave, leave the school, but I just want to leave it. I honestly have nowhere to go, so I just go to the school and sit down on the cold ground against the brick wall. I open my bag and find a pack of cigarettes.

        "Score! Thank you, Hades." I grab the pack and open it and grab one cigarette. Yeah, I'm seventeen years old and I smoke. Big deal. We're all gonna die someday, so why not now? I started smoking about a year ago and honestly, it's disgusting, but somehow a relief when you're stressed and confused about this shitty life. I did though quit for about a week, and that didn't work since I'm smoking now. I grab a lighter from my bag and I light the cigarette. I put the cigarette in my mouth and I suck it until I can't breathe. I blow out the smoke and cough. Disgusting stuff, but somewhat good. I continue smoking the cigarette until I hear a voice that makes me jump.

       "You know, smoking is not good for you. Didn't your parents warn you about it?" Matthew says as he walks closer to me and now I'm getting pissed. His hands are in his pockets and of course, he looks good. He always looks good.

       "Hardee har har. Give me a break. You smoke. I've seen you." I take the cigarette out of my mouth and throw it on the ground and step on it. I stand up and I take a big stretch because somehow I feel like this cigarette just made me tired as hell. I look at Matthew and I see him with a face that makes me roll my eyes. This kid is staring at me, and I know where he's staring at.

        "Hello???" I say which makes him blink and he shakes his head like he's a dog.

       "I uh. Look, Ms. Vern wants you to come inside. Like now?" Matthew waits for me to reply but all I do is scoff at him and pick up my bag and walk away from him.

      "Genesis! Come on! What the hell is wrong with you?" Oh hell no. I get so mad that I turn around and I walk until I'm an inch close to his face.

      "You know. You're a monster. You don't think through stuff, don't you? You just say what comes out of your stupid mouth and think that "oh, it's fine if I say that" right?" I'm boiling right now, and I don't care. Matthew takes a step back and looks down on the ground.

      "I'm sorry. My fault. Just please, please come back to class. Ms. Vern wants you to come back. Please?" He says with a sincere tone that makes me confused. Huh, I guess he's different, but still the same dumb boy I hate. I take a step back and walk back to the school. I can feel him smiling, thinking that he just made "crazy girl" come back to class with his "fake" words. I don't care. I don't wanna care, all I want is some food and my bed, but no, somehow I can't have that. Food is the only choice I have right now, and it's a good choice. I walk back into class and I know for sure that Ms. Vern is straight on pissed at me, but eh, what can I do about it? I walk to my seat and sit down with my head held high. I bring out my books and my pencil and I hear Matthew laughing.

      "Well? are we gonna learn or not?" I say to Ms. Vern and all she does is sigh and turn her back to the blackboard and writes some notes on the board. I copy them down and tell myself the words I wanna hear every day.

      "One more day was gone. Another day will be the day that death may come, or may not." And I whisper those words under my breath as I copy down the notes.

Chapter Three

It's lunchtime, and I'm starving. I already put my books in my locker and I put some perfume about all over my body so that nobody can smell the cigarette smell on me. I have my headphones on as I try to block out all of the people around me. I can feel everyone's eyes on me and it makes me shiver. I put my hair up and zip up my big ass hoodie so it can protect me from the evil of this world that I live in. I make way into the cafeteria and I find the lunch line and grab a spot so I can get some of the good food, not the bad food that everyone leaves behind. I grab a spot in line and of course, Matthew Brown had to be right in front of me. I know it from his clothes and also by how there are a group of girls around him. Give me a break. I try to hold my breath because I know that if I just let one breath, he's gonna know it's me. This dude somehow knows everything now. I grab an apple and some pizza and a cookie and I walk forward to pay. As I pay I smile at the lunch lady and take a bit of my apple as I walk away from her. As I walk away, I hear someone calling my name. Oh hell no.

       "Genesis!" I say a quick prayer and turn around to see my devil. Matthew. I fake a smile, which I know turns out horrible and I walk to him. Yeah, I could either not walk to him, but I know for sure that if I walk away, he's gonna chase after me and people are gonna get wrong ideas and ugh, it's just gonna look like a mess. I take another bite of my apple and take my headphones off. I walk to the table he always sits at, filled with people who admire him and stuff. Ugh, why do people like him? Is he not like he's a God or something? Oh wait, he is to them!

      "What?" The harsh tone makes him jerk and all the girls around him scoff. Oh great. I don't like how all they're looking at me and it's making me want to scream at them to stop looking at me.

      "Do you wanna sit with us so you don't have to talk to yourself alone?" Matthew says and laughs as he thinks he's the funniest person in the entire world. What's funnier is that everyone around him is laughing like he's the best comedian in the entire world. I flip him off and about all the girls gasp.

      "Why would I sit down to a guy who hates me?" He puts on his innocent face, but then somehow his eyes go sadly. Huh.

      "I don't hate you. You just think that but I don't hate you." Everyone goes quiet after that and now I feel somewhat uncomfortable. Is he playing a joke or something?

     "Yeah, well, that's what you think." And I walk away. I don't need this shit. I don't need him. All I need right now is my pizza and my cookie and my thoughts of death. Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good deal. I walk out of the cafeteria and walk to the library. Somehow the library is the only place that can make me happy. I walk in the library and I find a table in the back where no one can bother me. I put my food on the table and I pick out a book that I read every time when I'm in the library. The "Book of Genesis" is honestly kind of ironic. Like my name is Genesis, but somehow I love death. The "Book of Genesis" shows how the world was created by the God and such, and then there's me. Who just loves hell and Hades and thinks that death is the most magnificent thing in this entire world! See how ironic this is? I sit down and open my book and start reading it. After only a sentence read, I hear my name. Ughhhhh!

        "Genesis? Really?" Matthew says with his stupid cute voice. Does everything he does have to be cute? I bring the book down from my face and give him the "I will kill you" face.

       "You know, someday, I will punch you. Someday you will end up in the hospital, and someday that person who does that to you will be me." I smile which makes him laugh. Kill me. Just kill me.

       "Yeah, well, don't worry, I'm only here because I'm here to pick out a book." He starts walking away from my table and I'm intrigued now.

       "You read?" He reads. What?! I stand up and I start following him as he turns to grab a book off a shelf.

       "Yes Genesis, I read. I'm not that dumb as you think I am." He pulls out "War and Peace" and I roll my eyes. This dude is about to kill his brain if he thinks he can read that whole book. Like I've read that book before, and I almost died because it was so long! He takes it off the shelf and the weight of the book almost pulls him on the ground by how heavy it is.

       "Hm, well good luck reading it Hercules." I walk away and I hear his laugh. Something about his laugh makes me laugh and I don't like that. I choke down my laugh and walk away to continue reading my book, and to continue eating my lunch. I sit down and pick up my cheese pizza and take a huge bite, but of course, Matthew walks in when I'm a full face in deep with my pizza.

      "You must be starving." I swallow my bite of pizza and stare him straight in the eyes. He seems so innocent, yet I know there's a monster in him that's dying to humiliate me anytime soon.

      "Can I sit down?" My head jerks to those words and my jaw rolls down.

      "Ugh, fine." I point him to the chair that's front of me, but somehow this dude thinks he can sit beside me, and that's what he does! Matthew grabs the chair that's beside me and he sits down. He puts the book down on the table which makes a loud "thump" that shakes the damn table.

     "Sorry." I eye him for a second, then get back to my book. So this is how I'm gonna spend my lunch. In the library, reading my favorite book, while Mr. Matthew Brown is sitting next to me reading "War of Peace." Great...

     "Chapter one!" He shouts when he says those words and I instantly put my hand over his mouth. I can feel him smiling which makes me creep up.

     "Dude! Seriously?!" I whisper while shouting at him as my hand still covers his stupid mouth. He mumbles something, but I can't understand what the hell he's saying. I take my hand off his mouth and I lean back in my chair.

     "Sorry." Sorry? Sorry?! What the F! I scoff at him and continue reading my book. I always bite my lip when I read because somehow it soothes my nerves when I'm doing something, especially reading. I read about a page, then I have a feeling someone's watching me. Matthew is watching me, and it's creeping me out. I don't look up though because I don't want to be creepy too. I still feel his eyes on me though, so I stop biting my lip. Hm, I can at least have some fun with this. I don't like guys. I don't, but it doesn't mean that I don't wanna have fun with them. Just a little "get back" at him while I'm at it. I stand up and I go back to the bookshelf and I put the "Book of Genesis" on the shelf and my walk to the librarian so I can have a "talk" to her. Honestly, this is just fake, but it's kind of fun. I'm not facing Matthew, and the only thing that is facing Matthew right now is my ass and this is gonna be a whole lot of fun. I'm talking to Mrs. Wreath right now and honestly, I'm just talking to her about what time school ends today since I know for sure that the teachers have some meeting sometime, so I know that school today will end early. As I'm talking to her, I take out my band and I let down my hair like I'm some sexy model coming out of the water in slow motion. I am so not taking off my clothes or something, but just a little hair action can't be at all that bad right? I'm honestly not even listening to Mrs. Wreath and when she's done talking, I smile back at her and head back to my seat. I sit down and I look up at Matthew. He immediately looks down and I laugh.

     "Me two, you one," I say and he looks up with a smile. I so got him, and he so knows it. I lean back into my chair and continue staring at him. He's not ugly, and he's not cute. He's somehow gorgeous. What the hell?

      "So, uh..." Matthew says, which I know he has no clue what he's gonna say now since I just put on a little show for him. Yeah, I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me sometimes.

     "I gotta go." I stand up and walk away from our table and as soon as I almost leave the library, I hear his voice.

     "So, life is still screwed up I guess." I laugh as he says those very words that somehow made my day happier.

     "Yeah." I turn to him as I say those words, and then I leave the library and my world.

Chapter Four

It's my last class of the day and I'm dying right now. Ha, funny. I have biology right now with, of course, Matthew and I wanna throw up. I have about three classes with Matthew. English, biology, and history. Somehow life wants us to have classes together, but it won't let me die yet? Life is so not fair sometimes. I'm sitting in the back of the classroom where he, of course, is sitting in the front with all of his "friends." I honestly don't think they want to be his friend, they just want to be with him so they can earn some reputation in this damn school. After our little "lunch situation", he won't look at me. Like what did I do? Oh yeah. Well, look, not my fault. I'm fighting with myself in my mind and somehow my mind is winning. As I'm still constantly fighting with my mind, I hear my teacher's voice. Mr. Gold is shouting to the class and I'm intrigued. Hm, who's in trouble this time?

     "Ms. Swan!" Oh shit. My eyes bulge out and I look straight at him. What did I do now?.

     "Uh... Yeah?" Mr. Gold is somehow mad at me, and I have no clue. Everyone is staring at me of course, but not Matthew. Ugh, whatever. Mr. Gold is mouthing me something but I don't understand. I'm not that smart.

    "Ms. Swan, please come to my office for a minute. We need to talk. Now." Ughhh! I push my chair and stand up. I honestly need a smoke right now, but that will just make me more into trouble. I'm not risking that. I swallow hard and I walk to him. I'm not scared, but I'm confused. What the hell did I do? I turn around to check if my bag is still on my desk, and that's when I see it. My little hell. My pack of cigarettes on the desk, clear insight. Shitttt! I swear under my breath and turn back to look to Mr. Gold. I smile at him, but he's not smiling back. No shit idiot. I walk to Mr. Gold and whisper to him.

     "Uh, that's not mine," I say to him, but I know for sure he doesn't believe me for one second.

     "Ms. Gold, if they aren't yours, who's are they then?" I bit my lip and then look around the class. Well, I can't just blame it on someone... can I? My eyes stop at Matthew and he's mouthing something at me. I'm still a horrible person to understand when people mouth stuff at me because I never can understand them. I send him a confused look and that's when he stands up.

     "It's mine." He says those very words like they are his, but I know for sure they're not. I look back to Mr. Gold and his eyes are full of confusion. Same here dude.

     "No. They're not." I am so not letting him take the credit for this. Like look, I don't wanna get in trouble, but I don't want him to be the "hero" everyone thinks he is. Oh look, Matthew Brown saved Ms. Crazy girl! Hell no.

    "Genesis, what are you doing?" He says, but I'm not listening.

     "Mr. Gold, they are so mine. Like, look!" I turn around and walk back to my desk and grab the pack of cigarettes. I pull out my lighter from my bag and then take a cigarette from the pack and light it up. I smoke the cigarette as hard as I can and I blow the beautiful puff of smoke out into the classroom. I then look to Mr. Gold and his face is full of redness. Yeah, this wasn't a good idea.

     "Ms. Swan! In the office! Now!!!" I put the cigarette in the garbage can and grab my bag and walk to Mr. Gold.

    "Eh, what can you do?" I shrug to him and he only gets madder. I turn around to Matthew and he's only shaking his head. I stick my tongue out of him and flip him off. The girls around Matthew gasp and I roll my eyes.

     "Oh shut up." I move past Mr. Gold and I walk out of the classroom filled with fury. I don't even walk to the office, I just walk out the doors and leave the school. I don't need them. I don't need their pity and crap. I walk all the way to my car and I get in. I buckle my seatbelt and throw my bag in the backseat. My parents won't care if I miss about ten minutes of school. Hell, they won't even know. I put my key in the ignition and put it in drive and step on the gas pedal so hard, my car moves so hard, I almost lose control of it. I leave the parking lot and I drive where the car will take me. I drive and drive until I suddenly know where I'm gonna end up. Nowhere. I stop a mile later and I take the key out of the ignition. I put my head on the wheel and I cry. I cry and cry until I can't cry anymore, which happens in like five minutes. I'm not a huge crier, but I cry. I then say "F it" and just drive back to my house. It's the only place I got and the only place that has a bed and food. It's about six o'clock and I roll my eyes. Six o'clock. The time my mother said when we're about to have guests. I know for sure that if I go home now, I'm gonna have to change into something pretty and girly for our guests, and I have to put on my best manners for the whole day! Yeepee! I would rather go somewhere else, but I'm tired. I rather just go home and tell my parents I have the flu or something. Yeah, that'll work. I drive home and I see more than my parent's cars in our driveway.

      "Great.." I grab my bag from the backseat and pull out a bottle of perfume so I can spray it everywhere around me so I don't smell like smoke or something. I then take a pack of gum and put two gums in my mouth so my breath smells minty fresh. I step out of my car and make my way to my house that could be filled with people that I don't wanna talk to. I bring out my key from my pocket and unlock the door. As I open the door I can hear laughing from the living room. Well, this can't be at all this bad right? I close the door and lock it. My mother, of course, hears the lock and she yells out my name. Whyyyy?? I groan and I drop my bag on the ground and check myself in the mirror. Not bad, but not great. Eh, they'll just think I'm some druggie daughter who has sex with every boy she sees. Eh I'm fine. I walk very slowly to the living room and I can see my mother sitting down with my father. As I come closer to the living room my heart stops. I see a women and I guess that’s her husband since he's sitting close to her, but that's not where I have the heart attack. Right beside them is Matthew. Matthew! Matthew Brown is sitting on my couch petting my dog! My dog! Ok well, I don't care about the dog thing but what?? My eyes are filled with confusion and I'm trying to look into my parent's eyes to tell me why they are here! My mother stands up and puts her arm on my back.

       "Lisa, Tom, this is Genesis, my daughter." I'm filled with mix emotions right now, and the emotion that I'm mostly feeling is anger. What in the hell is he doing here?! My mom stares at me and I know she wants me to talk. Oh hell, I'll talk. I'll talk real good.

     "What the hell is he doing here?" My mother yells at me but I don't care. What is he doing here? In my house. With my parents and my dog?!

      "Genesis!" My mother says, but I don't care. I walk away from her and run to my room. I'm not trying to create some drama, but like why is he here? I mean I get now that those other people are his parents, but what type of parents bring their kid to someone else' house?! I shut my door which creates a loud slam. I know for sure that my father could be laughing right now by how I just reacted and I know for sure that my mother is probably apologizing to our stupid guests. To maybe even Matthew! I flop on my bed but then I get off right away since my mom will give me hell since I'm laying in the bed with school clothes. I get up and smooth the covers and walk to my closet. Now, this is where I could be grabbing my pj's and putting them on and sleep until I wake up a hundred years later. But no, my idiotic mind tells me to wear something extra nice for our special guests. I go through my closet and find the sexiest dress I have ever owned before. My mother bought me this about a year ago for some dance thing, and she gave me "the talk" about how every girl should have at least one sexy dress. Now coming back to the present, here I am holding a black sexy dress that shows me how slutty I actually look. I take my school clothes off and I put on the black dress. I'm already wearing black lingerie so I'm fine. I comb my hair with my fingers to make it less messy and less slutty. I don't put on any makeup because I don't need it. I just put some sparkly lip gloss on my lips and I'm ready! Ha, payback... I open my door and go downstairs to the kitchen first. I open the fridge and check to see if we have any cans of pop because I'm dying of thirst. I don't find any and I just grab a cold water bottle. I close the fridge and I jump at the sound of my mother's voice.

      "Genesis, you look beautiful!" Well somehow that's not the reaction I was gonna get, but I'll take it. I thought my mother was still gonna yell at me for that little incident in the living room and about this dress being inappropriate, but nope. I'm in the clear. I fake a smile to my mom and do a little curtsy. Damn this dress is short. It doesn't even go to my knees, it's shorter than that. It's black, like my soul of course, and it's tight. Really tight. It has long sleeves which I love because I look so cool. I love it when dresses have long sleeves, not short ones, or with straps.

      "Thank's mom." I fix my hair a little bit and while I do that she mouths to me something that I can actually tell what she's saying. She's mouthing to me that I should come to the living room which I do. I follow my mother but I try to walk slower so I can make a grand surprise for our special guests. I kind of feel evil for being a little bit mean to Matthew, but hey, it's not my fault that's guys are disgusting. All they ever wanna do is look at butts and boobs. I just happen to have those. I walk into the living room and I pretend that I'm only here to be super nice to our guests, but I'm actually being super evil to our guests. My mom sits down and I just stand close to the couch. Matthew's parents are telling me how beautiful I look and how I should be a model with the physique I have, but I'm not paying attention to them. I'm paying attention to the one and only, Matthew. Matthew's eyes are bulged out and I'm paying very close attention to him. I know for sure he's not looking at my face, he's looking below my face of course. He then looks up at my face and then coughs as he just notices that I just saw him staring at my whole body. I mouth to him "pervert" and he coughs some more and looks down on the ground. Ha, Genesis, two. Matthew, still zero.

     "Genesis, can you grab the plates and put them on the table?" My mother asks me and of course, I nod and make my way to the table until I hear Matthew's mother talk.

    "Matt, why don't you help Genesis. She can't do this alone of course." I roll my eyes as if she thinks I'm some wimpy girl who can't do anything in her own household, but I just ignore that and continue to walk to the kitchen. I can hear Matthew saying "yes" to his mother and I roll my eyes. Such a gentleman I guess... The plates are in the cupboards and of course, the cupboards are too high for me to reach them, so I go on my tippy-toes and I try to open the cupboards to grab the plates. I know for sure that me going on my tippy-toes is making the dress go shorter, but I don't care. I just need these damn plates. Somehow my mother hates me and so she put the plates on the highest shelf the cupboard has. Ugh! I'm about to grab a chair so I can grab the plates but I hear a cough. I turn around and of course, I see Matthew. His hands are in his pockets and he looks hot of course. Blah.

     "Uh, do you need help grabbing those?" I look upon where the plates are and there is no way in hell I'm gonna grab those. They are sure gonna fall on the ground and break. My mother would ground me for a decade if I break her beautiful plates. I sigh, and I turn around and nod. Matthew, of course, is taller than me and can grab those plates without stepping on a chair. He makes it so easy. He makes everything seem so easy! I take a step back and look at his outfit. He's wearing a blue suit, and I know for sure that's damn expensive. But a suit though? I don't live in a castle so I don't know why on earth he would wear a suit. He grabs the plates and turns around to give them to me. I grab the plates from his hands and place them on the table. I put all the plates on the table and then I go back to the kitchen to get the silverware. I open the kitchen drawer and grab some spoons, forks, and knives. I know for sure Matthew is watching my every move but I'm somehow focused on making this table look beautiful. Weird.

      "So uh, you need help?" He says but I just shake my head and put the silverware on the table. I then grab the glasses and a bottle of wine and put them on the table too. I then go back to the kitchen where Matthew is just standing there and doing nothing. I walk around him and grab a beer can from the fridge. I'm not gonna be mean so I turn around and hand it to me.

      "It's not poison, it's beer." He takes the can and then I grab another beer can from the fridge and open it. I take a big sip of it and then wipe my mouth with my sleeve. My mom would kill me if she saw me wiping something with my sleeve. I sit on the countertop and I cross my legs. I'm not that crazy about him seeing my black panties.

     "Are you gonna drink the beer or not?" I say, and then he opens the can and takes a long sip of it too.

     "Better?" I nod as he says it and I smile. Huh, he's not that bad when he's without his stupid friends. Matthew is really tall, so with me just sitting on the countertop, I'm honestly his height, with him being a bit an inch taller. The countertop is super high, so like damn he's actually tall.

     "So, now I should ask you this question because I have too. Why in the hell are you in my house and are you stalking me?" The word stalk makes him wince and I feel like I might've scared him or something.

    "I didn't stalk you. My dad works with your dad and so he wanted to invite my parents over for dinner at your place. My mother doesn't like leaving me home alone somehow after a little incident so I'm here. Does that make sense to you or do I have to say it slower?" I roll my eyes as he thinks I'm such dumb chick but also I'm intrigued when he said his mother doesn't trust him alone anymore since an incident occurred at his house. Hmm..

    "So what happened?" I say which makes him smile. He comes closer and it's making me dizzy.

    "Not telling you." I take another sip of my beer and think of ways on what could've happened at his house. Maybe he had sex with a girl in his parent's room and his parents came home and they found him doing it? Maybe he set the house on fire because he was playing with fireworks? Or maybe he had a party and it got out of control and the neighbors called the police? There are so many things that are going through my brain right now and it's making even more interested.

    "Ok, let's make a deal. You tell me what happened and I'll do whatever you want me too." I honestly sound like a prostitute right now, but I know for sure he won't make me do anything slutty. He's too scared of me. Everyone is. He's eyebrows goes up and it makes me laugh.

    "That sounds super sketchy you know, and I'm not doing it." I step of the countertop and my hands go up.

    "Why not!" He laughs and it's making me mad now.

    "Because if I tell you what I want you to do you might just kill me in my sleep, also what happened to you after the little "incident" after biology? I was saving you know." He just changed the subject and he's not getting away with it.

     "You just changed the subject." He crosses his arms and smirks.

     "Just tell me and I might tell you." He looks sincere, but I don't trust him. I drink the rest of the beer in my can and then I crush it and throw it in the garbage.

     "Nope." I'm about to walk away until he grabs my arm and pulls me back. I look at him dead in the eyes, and he doesn't move. This dude is so weird... but I actually like it. He brings me close to him and honestly, I can like just go on my tippy-toes and kiss him, that's how close I am.

    "Uh..." He says, and I know he's stuck on what he's gonna say right now. He asked for this, so it's his pit of doom. I smile and bit my lip. Matthew is so silly, it's just funny how much he's suffocating on this. I decide to just help him on this so we can just get this over with.

    "To make you feel better, I don't make out with "nice guys." I air quote the "nice guys" with my fingers and that makes him take a step back. I so got him.

    "What do you mean "nice guy?" So he won't ask about the "making out" part yet he's asking for the "nice guy" part? Yeah, he is weird.

    "Well look at you. You so do not dress the "bad" guy part. Also, did you not hear what I just said before that?" I cross my arms and eye him. He puts his fingers in his hair and that's when I see it. No wonder girls fall head over heels with this dude! He is hot! It's grossing me out so much that I'm about to faint. Matthew's about to say something but my mother's voice stops him and that makes me happy. Thank you, Hades.

     "Genesis! Matthew! Dinner's ready!" I turn back to see my mom putting food on the table and then it hits me. Did she just see the little show that I and Matthew just did in the kitchen? I'm hoping she didn't because that would be the weirdest mother and daughter talk she would give me when he leaves. I look back at him and he's looking at the ground. Ugh! I just say "hell with it" and I follow my mom to the table and I sit down because right now I'm starving. I'm sitting down where I thought my mother would sit down right next to me, but of course, Matthew sits next to me. Life is hell.

     "Seriously? Can't you sit somewhere else that's not here???" I whisper that to him and my mother puts her arm on my shoulder, meaning she just heard that and I might get killed after. Ugh. I smile at her and mouth "sorry" which she nods and then sits down close to my father. Matthew's parents also sit next to each other, and then there's me. Sitting next to the great Matthew Brown, having dinner with him and his parents, in my house... with my food! Well, the food doesn't matter, but it's my food! I cross my legs and take a sip of my water.

     "We need to talk," Matthew says, but I'm not listening. We already talked quite enough, why does he want to talk again? And now??? I didn't know that everyone starts taking food and putting it on their plates, so I follow what they're doing. I grab some mash potatoes, pasta, chicken, and gravy and I start feeding myself with this damn delicious food. Matthew starts putting food on his plate too and starts eating. At least he can't talk with his mouth full of food. My mouth is filled with mash potatoes and I stop chewing as I feel something touching my foot. I look down and it's Matthew hitting my foot. I turn to face him and I know my face looks like the devil.

     "What?" I mumble those words out and somehow he doesn't even laugh. Weird.

    "We. Need. To. Talk." Oh hell no. I swallow down the mash potatoes and then something horrible happens. The mash potatoes go down the wrong way and I start coughing like an old person with bronchitis. Matthew stands up and starts patting my back and I start coughing more because this is getting weird. Oh shit, is this where I'm gonna die? In the middle of dinner with his parents and himself too??? Am I gonna fall face down in mash potatoes or hot gravy??? Ughhh, I might just die anyway. I get up right away and get the glass of water and drink it. I drink all of it until my coughing goes down. I take a deep breath and I know for sure I probably scared my parents and his.

     "Genesis! Are you okay darling???" My mother says and I nod about five times.

      "Yeah uh. Can I be excused?" I say and my mother nods as I push my chair in and put my napkin on my plate. I walk away and I go upstairs to my room so I can just die from humiliation. I open my bedroom door and I shut it. I flop on my bed and I scream into my pillow. Very dramatic, but very lunatic. I close my eyes so I can just dream about things I love dreaming about. Like death. Or the devil. Or me being in hell and being a devil! Yeah, that sounds like an awesome dream. As I close my eyes, I hear a knock on my door.

     "Ughhhhhhhhhh," I say as I open my eyes. Seriously?! If it's my mom, I might just slam the door in her face, and trust me, I've done it before. I get up from my bed and I go to my door to open it. As I open it my jaw falls. Matthew again! He looks nervous as hell since he's actually knocking on a girl's door. His hands are in his pockets and he's so close that one step, he'll actually be in my room. Damn.

      "Seriously? Don't you have anything better to do instead of knocking on "crazy girl's" bedroom door?" I say and he smiles. There you go you little boy, smile. Damn, I am weird.

      "I just wanted to make sure you were okay since you almost died at dinner." I laugh since honestly, that's exactly what happened at dinner. I put my hair through my fingers and stretch.

    "Yeah..." I look back where my covers on my bed are wrinkled when I just flopped on them a minute ago. My clothes are still on the ground and my bag and books are everywhere around my room. I turn back to see Matthew and he's also looking in my room. He then looks straight at me because somehow this dude doesn't think I just saw him eyeing my room. He's not smooth at all. I roll my eyes and he licks his lips. Am I seriously paying attention to his lips? Yeah, I am.

    "Well. I uh... I gotta go." Matthew begins to turn around and I stop him with words that make me wanna punch myself.

    "You wanna come in?" Matthew turns and looks at me with his eyebrows up.

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