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Excerpt for Mr. Hollywood, Book 1 by , available in its entirety at Smashwords

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Mr. Hollywood

Part One

By

Lacey Weatherford


Rave Reviews for Mr. Hollywood!



“Being a famous, hot Hollywood actor doesn't mean your real life is perfect. Lacey Weatherford beautifully brings to life the struggles of a super star Hollywood actor who was a small town boy that made it big in Hollywood, only to lose himself along the way. Can his first true love help him find his way back? You don't want to miss this beautiful and steamy love story!

-Vonnie Hudson, Book Cafe


“Lacey Weatherford has done it yet again! Just when you think you have found a favorite book she sneaks up on you and BAM does it again. She shows us that a perfect life isn't always the glitz and glamour, it's the people you choose to love and covet that makes the true star rise. Bravo for another awesome book!

- Lisa Markson, The Paranormal Bookworm


“Lacey Weatherford sure knows how to grab the attention of the reader. With the details, it makes you want to continue reading the book and never put it down. She knows how to bring her characters to life. The life of a famous actor is not as glamorous as you would think. Can the big time actor really find true love from his past?”

- Stephanie McCamy, Book Café


Z McCartney is my new addiction—one I never want to be cured of! So tortured, so sexy . . . he's at the top of my list for new book boyfriends!”

- Belinda Boring, Bestselling Author of The Mystic Wolves and Bittersweet Melody


“Lacey Weatherford has such a way of writing that this book makes you feel like you are watching a movie reel in your mind. Her perfect use of words, plot, and emotions will make you go on a rollercoaster and never want to get off. This is one of my favorite books of hers ever!

– Julie Engle, Book Café







Mr. Hollywood

Part One

By

Lacey Weatherford




Mr. Hollywood

Part One

A Celebrity Novel


Copyright © 2015 Lacey Weatherford


Edited by Ellie McLove, Love N’ Books

Formatted by Kamery Solomon, Stargazer Design


ALL RIGHTS RESERVED


Smashwords Edition


Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.


This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.


This book is available in both eBook and print formats.



For my one true love, James. You are my life!


Prologue

Zane


“Hey, cowboy,” Aubrey’s soft words washed over me and I turned, finding her standing in the wide barn doorway, wearing a white sundress. The light shone behind her, highlighting all her curves through the thin fabric, and I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra. Immediately, my body responded, growing harder, as I took in the vision of loveliness that constantly tortured my dreams. “I’ve been waiting for you to get here all morning.” She smiled.

Hefting a bag of feed from the wheelbarrow, I moved it onto the stack against the wall. “I just arrived. Tell Brent I’m sorry I’m late. My dad needed some extra . . . help . . . this morning.”

“It’s okay. My dad isn’t here. He and Mom decided to take a trip into town for some supplies. He said not to expect them back until this afternoon.”

“They’re gone?” I asked, swallowing thickly, as she sauntered past me and began climbing the ladder to the hayloft. I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she moved higher, not stopping until she reached the top and stepped onto the floor above, flashing me a significant peek of her lacy, white underwear.

Holy fuck. My cock was so hard it was straining against the zipper of my jeans.

I’d never wanted a girl as badly as I wanted this one. Every night I was tortured with dreams of trying to get inside her. Cold showers and I were becoming the very best of friends, as I attempted to keep things reined in, not wanting to pressure her. I wanted to wait until she was ready. I just hoped I didn’t die first.

Abandoning my task without another thought, I followed her up the ladder, finding her leaning in the doorway of the loft. I joined her, and for a few moments, we both stared out across the rolling vista, with its wide-open prairies, surrounded by low-lying hills and mountains in the distance.

Glancing back at Aubrey, I forgot all about the view. Well, at least that view. I’d never seen a prettier picture than the girl standing in front of me. A few strands of her long, dark hair blew around her face softly. The white of her dress made her olive toned skin seem even more tan than usual, and I simply wanted to run my fingers over every inch of her exposed body and then some.

Moving to her side, I slid my hands around her tiny waist and pulled her gently toward me. She didn’t speak, but her hazel colored eyes locked with mine, and I saw the longing inside them. Unable to help myself, I captured her plump lips, parting them with my tongue so I could taste her properly. A soft whimper escaped her, and she wrapped her arms around me, thoroughly kissing me back.

Everything about me belonged to her. I wondered if she knew she owned me—heart and soul.

I wasn’t sure when I’d stopped thinking of her as the best friend and playmate of my childhood and started wanting her instead. I’d tried on several occasions to pinpoint the exact moment I’d fallen in love with her, but with no success. There were too many great moments in our past together. Loving her was an accumulation of all of them.

Aubrey Hart set a fire in my bones unlike any other girl I’d been with. She knew everything about my past, and every success and failure in my life. She knew about all my previous crushes on various girls, and she knew exactly which of those girls had ended up naked beneath me. Shit, she probably knew exactly how many times I’d slept with each one, as well. I shared everything with her—everything. Maybe that was why I connected to her so much. She knew me better than anyone. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t get enough of her.

Kissing her repeatedly, our mouths tangled together hotly, as hands roamed freely over each other, until my throbbing cock was so hard I worried I might explode right there. Tearing myself away, I moved several steps backward. It was becoming more and more difficult to control myself around her, not that I was in control much anyway.

“I . . . I better get back to work,” I lied, panting. I didn’t want to go anywhere. This was exactly where I wanted to be.

Aubrey stared at me for a moment, before strolling casually over to where some old saddle blankets sat in a stack behind me. I watched as she picked one up and spread it out across a thick pile of hay. “I thought maybe you could stay for a while. I want to spend as much time with you as I can before you move to Los Angeles. We only have a couple days left, you know. We should spend as much of it together as we can.”

A nervous chuckle rippled through me. “As much as I would like that, I think I’m already way past being able to stop if I start kissing you again.”

She shrugged. “That’s okay. I don’t want you to stop. Think of it as my gift—a happy send off for you until we can see each other again.” Her words were quiet, but firm. “Please stay?”

She didn’t have to ask me twice.

Crossing the space in two strides, I scooped her in my arms, gently laying her back on the bed of straw.

“You’re sure?” I asked, gazing into her eyes, hopeful.

Staring at me, she nodded, the tip of her tongue darting out and briefly licking her lips. “I’m sure. I’ve never wanted anything more.”

Relief shot through me, along with a heavy dose of fire. “Me either.” Still, I halted, her words giving me pause. “You know I’ll be back for you soon, right? I can’t stand the thought of leaving you, even for a minute. These first few weeks, I’ll be rooming with other people, but as soon as I get settled in with a place of my own, I’m coming to get you.”

“Don’t worry about that now. It’ll work out as it should.” She ran a hand over one of my arms, squeezing my biceps on the way past and even that simple touch turned me on more.

Shifting, I reached behind me, digging in my back pocket for my wallet, only to realize I’d left it at home. “Shit! I don’t have any condoms with me.” I flashed an apologetic look at her. “I forgot my wallet.”

Her face showed disappointment, and she bit her lip as she considered this development. “Can’t you just pull out, or something, when you’re ready? I really want to do this with you, Zane. This might be our last chance before you leave.”

I didn’t even take the time to reply, not wanting to wait a moment longer. Crushing my mouth to hers, my hands wandered, finding the hem of her short dress and gathering it. Sitting up, she allowed me to pull it off over her head.

There were no modesty issues between us. I was no stranger to her body, having spent hour upon hour in the past, just like this—sucking on and petting her mostly naked form while she writhed and moaned beneath me.

I’d helped her find release on numerous occasions, both with my fingers and my mouth, and she’d returned the favor, relieving me with her mouth, too.

Memories of past blowjobs flitted through my mind, making me smile. God, I loved watching her head bob up and down on me. She was like the fuckin’ dick whisperer, or something, the way she constantly brought me to full attention whenever she was around. My shaft had turned into a damn water witch, and it was constantly directing me to her, as if it were a compass.

I’d once teased her that I’d always be able to find her if she ever got lost because my erection would point me straight to her. She laughed so hard, she cried, and then she blew me again and let me come all over her bare breasts. It had been friggin’ hot!

Despite all the times we’d messed around together though, we’d never crossed this last and final barrier. She was still technically a virgin. And despite all the times she’d graciously relieved my throbbing arousal, all I could seem to think about was burying it deep inside her.

Now, I couldn’t get out of my clothes fast enough, trying the whole while to keep kissing and touching her as I did so. Finally, our naked bodies were pressed together, and I sucked one of her tight nipples into my mouth. Arching against me, she moaned heavily, and I slipped my hand lower, sliding a couple fingers inside her, and finding her wet and ready for me.

“Damn,” I whispered, hoping I could last long enough to bring her some pleasure as well. Too long, I’d waited for this moment, and now that it was here, I was afraid I might explode the second I entered her. I was so keyed up.

Kissing her a few mere moments longer, she was already writhing against me, begging for more, and I was anxious to give in to those demands.

“Please, Zane,” she whimpered. Her hands ran over my skin, reaching down between us, as I shifted above her, and grabbing my length. Slowly, she rubbed the head of my dick over her wet slit.

I clenched my teeth, trying to resist the urge to just pound into her. I didn’t want to hurt her, especially since she’d been scared about my size and whether or not I’d fit inside her in the past. I’d religiously reassured her that she’d handle my cock just fine, but somehow that reassurance hadn’t served to comfort her much. So I let her blow me, instead, and enjoyed every second of it. But now—now my dreams were finally going to come true.

I was going to have the girl I loved.

My rounded tip slid inside her. Fuck! I wasn’t even two inches in yet, and my body was already screaming at me. Slowly, I pressed forward, maintaining eye contact with her. She stiffened as I reached the barrier.

Pausing, I kissed her again, even though I was trembling, trying to hold back. As soon as she started relaxing again, I surged forward, burying myself completely. Her sharp cry filled the air, causing some of the horses below us to ninny, and she stiffened, her fingernails biting into my skin.

Holding still, I stared down at my pretty girl. Her jaw was clenched as she adjusted to me, and the pain. I hated that I’d hurt her, but loved that I was her first. Finally, she belonged to me—completely.

“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling guilty that her pain was causing me such exquisite pleasure. “I love you,” I added, and with those words, I slowly withdrew and pumped into her again. Immediately, her face changed, and a silent “O” shaped her mouth. Arching slightly, her tightened nipples brushed against my chest.

Holy hell! She felt and looked so fucking amazing. “Feels good, huh?” I managed to get out.

“So good,” she panted, lifting her legs and wrapping them around my hips, and I thought I was going to lose it right there.

“I’m trying to be careful,” I whispered, wanting her to know I’d take it easy on her.

“Don’t worry about that,” she said, her hands traveling up and down my back. “I want you to enjoy it.”

I snorted. “Trust me, I am,” I replied, punctuating my words with the movements of my cock. I’d never talked with a girl this much during sex before, most of my previous experiences being of the slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am variety. In the past it was all about getting off. I happily slid my dick into any female that offered. Sex felt good and if girls wanted to get it from me, I was glad to give it to them, as hard and as fast as I could.

It wasn’t like that with Aubrey. I liked hearing what she had to say.

Shifting to my knees without slipping out of her, I straightened, staring down at where our bodies were joined together. “I like seeing me inside you.”

She propped herself up on her elbows and let her knees fall wide open, following my gaze to the place we were joined together. “It is kind of beautiful, isn’t it?”

“You have no idea,” I said, slipping my hands under her butt and lifting her hips, so I could continue to drive inside her.

Tossing her head back, she moaned heavily and I pounded into her harder, making her full breasts bounce up and down and her hands slid up to cover them, holding them down.

“Don’t,” I breathed out quickly. “I like seeing them bounce while I’m fuckin’ you.”

Peering at me with mischievous eyes, she pinched her nipples and I groaned. “You like?” she asked innocently.

“You know I do,” I growled out, images of the time she’d masturbated herself in front of me flitting through my head. How we’d made it away from that picnic without me fuckin’ her lights out, I never knew. It was the sexiest damn thing I’d ever seen. My dick had been permanently hard for weeks afterward. Even now, the memory was enough to spur me on.

Continuing to ride her harder and faster, I could feel my climax building. Shit! I didn’t want to finish already.

Think of something else! my brain frantically ordered. It was taking all the control I had to try and stave myself off. Immediately, I searched for something to hold me off. I imagined sitting in church, holding a hymnal and listening to the religious words being sung by the congregation. It didn’t help much because the next image in my head was my climax exploding all over the hymnal.

Damn! I was dying here.

“Zane!” she suddenly called out, her body stiffening beneath me. Hell, yes! “Oh!” Her head thrashed from side to side. “Oh my gosh! Zane!” Finally, I felt her start to spasm around me.

“Fuck yeah!” I shouted, driving into her even harder. Holy shit! This was going to be good! My ball sack tightened, but she was still coming, writhing beneath me. I did my best to hold it as long as I could.

“Zaaaaane!” she shouted, dragging out my name as she bucked her hips against me, begging for more.

“Fuuuuuuuuck!” I shouted, my cock pulsating heavily. “Baby, I—” Ripping myself out of her body, I shot my load, spraying thick streams of cum against her thighs as I jacked myself off the rest of the way, shuddering and groaning with each spurt.

Falling on the blanket beside her, panting, I watched as her hand slid lower, running her fingers through the gift I’d left her. Lifting them, she closed her eyes as she licked them one by one, and that simple action sent fire straight to my groin again. I loved that my girl enjoyed tasting me whenever she had the chance. It was so—erotic.

Opening her eyes, she glanced at me with a satisfied smile. “That was—”

“Incredible?” I interrupted, still seeing stars. Sex had never felt this good before. Being with Aubrey had taken it to a whole new level for me.

She giggled. “Better than incredible. I was thinking earth shattering, or something like that.”

Laughing, I gathered a corner of the blanket and wiped away the rest of my semen from her stomach. Gathering her into my arms, I kissed her cheek. “I’m happy you enjoyed it. Thank you.”

“You enjoyed it? Really?” she asked, her brows drawing together in doubt.

“Can’t you tell?” I replied, amazed that she even felt the need to ask. Didn’t she know she’d just rocked my world and changed the very way I looked at sex?

“I . . .” She hesitated for a moment, glancing away briefly before drawing in a deep breath and releasing it. “I just know you’ve been with lots of other girls. I’ve heard about them all. Now I’m one of them, and I don’t want to be a disappointment.”

Eyes widening in disbelief, I stared at her. “Aubrey, don’t you know? You had all those girls beat before I ever even touched you for the first time. You’re complete perfection. Those girls have nothing on you.” I paused, sliding my hand over her bare skin, from her shoulder to her hip. “And this—this is the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt in my life.”

“I love you,” she said, her eyes looking teary, and she hugged me tighter.

“I love you, too.” I meant every word. This wasn’t just afterglow. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with this girl. She meant everything to me. I was struggling with leaving her already, and I wasn’t even gone yet.

Rolling over onto her stomach, she crossed her ankles behind her, waving them slightly in the air. “So next time, I want to be on top.”

Her words surprised me, but I loved hearing them. “Next time?”

“Well, we need to get as much as we can in before you leave. I need my memories to keep me warm at night while you’re off becoming some famous super model.”

I snorted. “I think you’re making a bigger deal out of this opportunity than it really is.” I ran my fingers down her spine as I spoke.

“Whatever! You just won a national contest! You do realize that, don’t you? It is a big deal.”

I shrugged, not caring one whit about that stupid contest right now. “If you say so. I only entered it because you begged me to. Personally, I think this is a bigger deal.” I gestured between us and smiled. “And I can promise you, I’m way more excited about what just happened here than any modeling gig.”

“Me too.” Smiling, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against my shoulder, before slipping her arm around my waist. “Thank you for today. I’m sorry I’ve been so nervous about it, but you were totally right. It was awesome. I look forward to doing it a lot more.”

“Just hearing you talk this way makes me ready to go again, right now.” Hooking my arm around her waist, I dragged her on top of me and she squealed, her legs flopping to either side of mine.

Slapping my shoulder, she gave me the stink eye—or tried to. The cute grin that slid onto her face kept it from landing. “You scared me.”

“That’s what you get for tempting me. You can’t be doing stuff like that. I’m a man—with needs. When you talk that way, my body demands to have those needs filled. It really is all your fault.”

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. “That was the lamest thing I’ve ever heard.” Shifting her position, she guided me inside, her eyelids fluttering as she settled down on top of me, with a moan.

“It might have been lame, but it still got you where I wanted you,” I teased back, flexing inside of her and another sound escaped her.

“Everything is so . . . intense feeling, and so . . . full.”

“Are you sure you’re okay to do this? You’re not too sore?” I didn’t want to cause her any more discomfort, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop her either, if she was game to go again.

“I feel fine. A little tender at the moment, but nothing I can’t handle. It kind of heightens the sensation.” Her eyes closed. Placing her hands flat on my chest, she rocked her hips against me.

“Damn.” It was all I could say. Not only did she feel amazing, she looked amazing, perched on top of me all . . . naked. Reaching out, I fondled her breasts, loving the weight of them in my hands as I tweaked each of them, watching them pucker into tight buds. Another groan escaped her and she moved faster.

“I like that,” she whispered.

“I know,” I replied. I’d always been fascinated with her boobs and how tight her nipples got when I played with them. I wondered if they throbbed like my dick did when it got hard like that.

Anchoring my hands on her hips, I guided her faster, my eyes traveling from the expression of ecstasy on her face, to where her round breasts swayed back and forth over me.

Holy hell! I was going to come again already. It was like I was a damn fourteen year old again, experiencing his very first time, only my first time was never this good.

The sound of a vehicle pulling up outside interrupted us. Glancing over her shoulder, Aubrey looked out the loft doors. “It’s my parents!” she whispered sharply.

“Don’t stop yet!” I held her hips tight, thanking heaven above as she continued to ride me. The danger of getting caught only served to heighten everything—at least for me—I wasn’t sure about her, but she kept going.

“Are you close?” she asked, sounding nervous. “Because I am, but—” Tossing her head back, she let out a long, soft moan. Immediately, I started coming, I couldn’t hold it back.

“Up! Up!” I whispered frantically, and she practically flung herself off me, but I was worried that most of the first shot made it inside her. Rubbing myself, I jacked off the rest. Fuckin’ hell! It felt amazing!

“Get dressed!” She hissed before I was even finished, throwing my clothes at me. Regret filled me. I wasn’t finished with all the things I wanted to do with her yet. Rising, I grabbed my pants first, trying to hurriedly put them on and we both snickered as we stumbled around, fumbling with our clothes. She quickly pulled her dress over her head.

“Aubrey? You in the house?” Her dad’s voice called loudly over the idling engine and she moved to the loft doors. I knew she didn’t have her panties on, because they were on the blanket beside me.

“No, I’m over here,” she replied to him as I buttoned my pants. Standing, I shoved my boots on and quickly grabbed my t-shirt, thankful Brent couldn’t see me up here with her. I didn’t want to get shot when things were just starting to get good.

“Mom forgot her purse on the counter. We came back to get it. I was going to have you bring it out. Did Zane show up?”

“Yeah, he’s down there stacking feed.” She nodded in the direction of the ladder.

Quickly, I grabbed her panties and stuffed them in my pocket, before hurrying down to the main barn floor. Snatching a bag of feed, I began stacking again, just as Brent appeared in the doorway. Hopefully he’d think I was flushed and out of breath from working hard.

“Everything okay this morning, son?” he asked, eyeing me. It wasn’t unusual for him to call me that. I didn’t mind. He’d been more of a father to me than mine had ever been.

“Yeah. My dad needed some extra help this morning. Sorry I was late.” Basically, that was the nice way of me telling Brent my dad was drunk off his rocker. I didn’t need to elaborate. He knew what I meant.

“No problem. Is your dad okay?”

“He’ll be fine. Just needs to sleep things off.” Everyone knew my dad lived in the bottom of a bottle these days. He’d never recovered from my mom’s death twelve years ago.

While we lived on the neighboring farm, it had dwindled into disrepair—at least the outbuildings had. I tried to keep up the farmhouse the best I could and had worked for Brent all through high school, earning money to keep food on the table. Brent also rented some of our pastures, which helped out too. I was very appreciative to him. Who knew what my life would be like if he wasn’t around?

“All right. Aubrey probably already told you, but I’m running into town with Daphne to get some supplies. We won’t be home until early evening now, since we had to come back.”

“Okay. I’ll get all the late chores done up for you before I go home then.”

“Thanks, Zane. I always feel better knowing things are in your capable hands.”

He’d shit a brick if he knew exactly what had been in my capable hands, or riding my very capable dick.

“Happy to help. I love it here.”

“We love having you here, son. You’re family.” He paused, shuffling uncomfortably. “Daphne always wished we could’ve adopted you.”

I paused, my eyes going wide. “She did?”

He nodded. “We even asked your dad about it once, a couple years after your mom died. He got pretty angry about it, so we never brought it up again.”

This was news to me. I’d never heard a word about it before this. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.” I wasn’t sure what to say. “Thank you for caring.”

“We always have. Daphne and I have watched you and Aubrey grow up together. You both get along so well. We thought you’d both enjoy being brother and sister.”

I was pretty sure I blanched at that comment. If there was one thing I was positive I never wanted, that was for Aubrey to be my sister. Girlfriend? Yes. Sex slave? Hell, yes! And I even hoped she’d be my wife at some point in the distant future. But we had plenty of time for that. Right now, I just wanted to explore every inch of her body—repeatedly—for days on end. But sister? Hell, no! There was nothing but trouble in store for us down that road, because regardless of her title, I’d never be able to stop fucking her now that the line had been crossed.

“Well, I better get going,” Brent said, pulling me back to reality.

“Enjoy your day trip,” I replied politely, feeling just the tiniest bit guilty about my previous activities. Brent trusted me. Right now I was violating that trust in the worst way possible.

“Thanks. We will.” He gave a wave and headed back to the vehicle.

Soon the truck was meandering out of the yard, but my attention was fully riveted on the brunette beauty descending the ladder, flashing me her bare butt as she did so.

Instantly, my body stirred to life again. Damn it! I’d already taken her twice today. How was it possible to want her even more than before?

“I lost my panties,” she said as she reached the bottom and turned to face me.

“I see that,” I replied with a grin, not divulging their whereabouts. “Not that I’m complaining.” I planned on keeping them. Maybe I’d hang them on some of my sports trophies in my room and they could be my favorite trophy ever, since I’d be reliving this day for the rest of my life. Or I could bronze them and hang them on a plaque that said, “The first time I fucked Aubrey.” Just the idea of it made me smile.

“Sorry we got interrupted.” Wrapping her arms around my neck, she popped up on her tiptoes to kiss me.

“Guess we’ll just have to pick up where we left off.” Lifting her, I set her on the bags of feed and spread her legs, smiling as I wedged my way in between them, pushing her dress up until her pretty pussy was showing. “Ready for round three?” I grinned and she giggled.

“Yup. I want to do this with you all the time.”

Staring into her eyes, I wondered how I’d gotten so lucky. “I’d like that, too.” Pressing my mouth to hers, I kissed her deeply.

So many great things were happening for me right now, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to experience it all with Aubrey. Only Aubrey.

Unfastening my pants, I released myself and pushed back inside her. This . . . this was perfection, and I just knew our future together was going to be perfect!

On the Red Carpet Tonight with Mr. Hollywood, Z McCartney!”

~Glitz Magazine~

Chapter One

Z McCartney – Ten Years Later


I couldn’t believe how far I’d fallen—so far in fact, if someone held up a mirror, I wasn’t sure I’d recognize myself anymore.

“Z!” Hearing the name most of the world knew me by shouted into my ear brought me back to the present and I forced a fake smile.

“Are you close, sweetheart?” I taunted, watching as she tossed her head back against the prime leather seats of the limo. Driving against her harder, I felt my own release building . . . finally. I was beginning to think I’d never find it.

“Ahhhhh!” she screamed, tumbling over the edge, and watching her sent me spiraling right after her.

Groaning heavily, I spilled into the condom, my muscles shaking. Holding my breath, I waited—hoping for satisfaction, completion, or something—anything. Yet, all I felt was the same hollowness inside me. I was broken, it seemed, unable to fill the void, despite my release. It had been this way for a long, long time. Ever since—no! I was not going there. What was the point?

“Z, we’re almost to the Red Carpet.” My personal assistant, Penelope’s, voice crackled over the intercom from where she was seated behind the privacy window in the front of the vehicle, and I was thankful for something new to think about.

“Showtime!” I said, attempting to sound cheerful even though there was nothing remotely exciting to me about this event. Winking at the stunning brunette, I pulled out a box of wet wipes from the console. I always insisted these be kept in my cars. I had lots of sexual encounters in vehicles and needed a way to clean up afterward. Cleanliness was next to godliness after all—at least that’s what my Sunday School teacher had taught me as a kid. She probably would frown on this though, no matter how clean I was. The thought made me grin.

As soon as I was finished straightening my clothes, I slid back into my seat. “Does my hair look okay?” I asked my companion, knowing she had been running her fingers through it.

She studied me momentarily. “It looks like you just got fucked in the back of a car,” she replied and I laughed, in spite of my semi-sour mood.

“Then it’s perfect.” My eyes fell on her lips. She really was gorgeous. Not that that was really anything special in Hollywood. I’d had a steady parade of beautiful women in my bed almost since I’d arrived here ten years ago. While I liked sex, and never turned down an opportunity for it, everything was beginning to feel old and stale for me. The only thing that ever changed in my life was the face of the women in my bed. Everything else pretty much blended together into one giant blur, except for a few really bad moments I wished could be permanently removed from my head. Why was it we could always remember the things we didn’t want to? It sucked.

“Something for the road?” she asked, lifting a mirror with several lines of white powder on it from the sidebar.

“Sure. We got a little distracted, didn’t we?” I said, taking it from her and quickly snorting a line. After all, this whole little private party we’d been having was for the drugs. I loved the drugs, and was always game to try something new when my dealer recommended it. Alcohol was a big one for me too, for that matter. True, drinking and doing drugs had gotten me into this mess in the first place, but that didn’t stop me from continuing to use them. They were the only things I could take that stopped the pain inside me, even if it was only for a short while. Any escape was a blessed relief.

“Yes, but it was worth it,” she said, drawing my wandering attention back to her, and her hand slid up my leg toward my crotch, clearly showing she was hoping for more. Suddenly, I felt inclined to give it to her again.

The car slowed, progressing forward inches at a time as we waited for our turn.

“Too bad we don’t have more time. I could go again, right now,” I said, enjoying her roaming hand that was steadily making its way higher. I loved girls who liked to fuck a lot, and this one fit that bill perfectly. I’d already ridden her twice today before we even made it to the car.

She giggled, rubbing her hand over me, finding my cock hard already. “What did you do? Take a whole bottle of Viagra? I’m going to be bow legged by the time this day is over.”

I snorted. “Baby, I don’t need that shit. I got all the natural drive a girl can handle. I’ll keep you up all night long.” The car stopped, signaling my cue to depart. “What was your name again?” I quickly asked, hating that I’d forgotten. If she was hurt, she didn’t show it.

“Stephanie,” she replied without even blinking an eye. I wondered if it was her real name or an alias. Z wasn’t my real name. It was simply what my agent had decided to shorten my name to, in an effort to make it sound trendy. But even though it wasn’t my real name, Z was who I was. Zane McCartney had been dead and buried for years and I did my best to never think about him or the things he wanted in life. It was easier to simply pretend I was this “Z” person who didn’t give a fuck about anything except for where the next party was and who was my next lay.

Leaning over, I quickly kissed my current hottie—at least for this minute—on the cheek. I didn’t do relationships. Not anymore. Relationships fucked a person up. “Thanks for the ride, Stephanie. I’ll see you soon. Real soon.”

Smiling, she twirled her fingers at me. “Have fun, Superstar!”

The door suddenly flung open, and I stepped out into the lights, the sounds of screaming fans filling the air. Steeling myself, I adjusted my tie and slapped a casual grin to my face as I strolled forward. Penelope appeared by my side, almost like magic, as four hired bodyguards moved around us. This wasn’t new to me. It happened everywhere we went. I didn’t know what all went into coordinating of these things, and I didn’t question it. It was simply the way it was.

Except for tonight. Tonight was going to be different, but no one needed to know that right now.

“You’ll be speaking with Margo Tamson from Glitz,” Penelope spoke loudly as we strolled, filling me in on the details like she always did. I didn’t need to know anything; it was all fed to me. I waved at the cheering crowds leaning over the barricades, begging for pictures and autographs, smiling as if I didn’t have a care in the world. It was a total lie. I was seriously fucked in the head.

While I loved acting and felt fortunate with the success I’d had, fans had no idea of the shithole side of this career. They had no idea how it could break you up into little tiny pieces, sucking out your soul bit by bit until there was nothing left of you. All they saw was the glamor of it—or whatever the media wanted them to see, not even realizing that Hollywood was just one carefully crafted line of bullshit. Hell, I was one carefully crafted line of bullshit.

Pointing to the Glitz platform, I shrugged and mouthed “sorry” to those begging for me to come to the barricades so they could get an autograph. Waving one more time, I hurried my way up the steps to do my bit with one of Hollywood’s most popular television magazines at the moment.

“Look, everyone! It’s the star we’ve all been waiting to see tonight, Mr. Z McCartney!” A microphone was shoved into my hand.

The screams escalated as I turned and waved to everyone before turning back to the TV anchor, a gorgeous woman who could’ve easily been a star on the carpet herself. Too bad she was blonde. Not that there was anything wrong with blondes, I just preferred stunning brunettes in my bed.

“Thanks for having me, Margo,” I said smoothly, giving no clue of the thoughts running through my head. “How are you tonight?”

Smiling, she stared at me as she spoke, and my eyes were riveted on her plump lips. Suddenly I was reconsidering my previous thought. Anyone with lips like that should be a candidate to give me a blow job at least. “I’m great. Just happy to be here visiting with people like you.” Expertly, she turned the conversation back to me. “We’ve all been hearing so many wonderful things about this new movie of yours, Unveiled. Can you tell us what it was like to get into this character, which, from what I understand, is basically at rock bottom due to addiction? Did you have a process?”

Smooth sailing so far. “Oh yeah, I definitely had a process. For me it’s about mentally getting into that place, dwelling where that character lives and just immersing myself in it.”

Actually, for me, acting was easy as shit. Hell, I was doing it right now. I could be whatever was needed of me. I could play it exactly like the director envisioned it, because it wasn’t about my vision or me. It was about what they wanted. That’s what paid my bills. That’s what made me the highest paid and most sought after actor in Hollywood. I was good at fooling people. Gifted, even.

“I bet you feel like you can empathize with people going through treatment like this, can’t you?”

“Totally! Totally!” I bullshitted. “It’s a crisis point in someone’s life, but I’ve just got to say, if you’re in treatment, be proud! You’ve taken a big step—a step up. And that’s what life is really all about, isn’t it? Moving up?” That was true, at least. Now if I could just figure out how to apply it to myself, I’d have it made. At least I would if I cared.

Placing a hand on my arm, Margo smiled. Score! She touched me. That blowjob was so going to happen. “Always a pleasure to speak with you, Z.”

Not as much pleasure as I plan to give you later, I thought. My eyes never left her, and I sent her a heated stare. “The pleasure is all mine,” I replied, imagining her mouth doing crazy things to me. She gave me a knowing look in return. Yeah, she was down for it.

Turning toward the crowd she presented me again. “Z McCartney, ladies and gentlemen. A first class act, right here!” It was all I could do to not snort, that comment was so far off base. There wasn’t a damn classy thing about me.

Waving again, I listened as Penelope reappeared at my side. “You have a minute to run over and do autographs and pictures with the fans.”

Some unseen person snatched the microphone from my hand, and I smiled and jogged down the steps as I’d been told, merely a dancing puppet on a string.

The crowd rippled and surged in my direction, bodies pressing forward in every which way, holding out pens and paper, or photos and memorabilia to be signed. Others were furiously snapping images or video with their cameras, the light causing my eyes to blur.

“Hey, everyone!” I shouted so they could hear me. “Thanks for coming tonight!” A marker magically appeared in my hand, and I reached for someone’s paper, scrawling my signature as quickly as possible. Hands grabbed at me, some clutching my jacket and pulling me closer. I could barely hear over the people shouting my name, trying to get my attention. Laughing, I shook my head as the bodyguards pressed in, telling people to calm down and move back. Thankfully, they obeyed, saving any further drama, and I hastily signed several more things—including one very nice breast—before posing for a couple of pictures. “Sorry! I’ve got to go!” I yelled with a wave, returning to Penelope’s side so she could continue to usher me along.

After a couple more interview stops and repeat interactions with fans, we finally reached the end of the carpet and were escorted the rest of the way into the theater itself. Glancing around the room, I saw several people that I knew, but right now I didn’t want to talk to anyone. Right now I wanted to make my escape.

“Penelope, I’m gonna use the restroom real quick,” I said, easily slipping back into my old comfortable lazy speech patterns. I didn’t do it often, and when I did, it really was only one or two words, but it still annoyed her. She called it my “country farm boy” accent. I hadn’t been on a farm in so long, I wasn’t sure if I remembered what one looked like. If I were being honest though, I was glad someone could still see anything in me that resembled that farm boy. Wistfully—for at least the millionth time—I wished I could be back in that life again, even if just for a day. But that was never going to happen. I’d fucked too much shit up.

Ducking around the corner, I made my way through the building. Spotting a little used side door, I hurried toward it.

“Z!” someone called out. I didn’t want to turn around when I was so close to getting away. Turning, I glanced behind me, not surprised to find Margo Tamson hurrying in my direction.

Smiling, I stopped and faced her. I knew exactly what she was after and I didn’t mind giving it to her.

“Hey,” I said casually as she got closer, my eyes traveling over the way her gown molded to her figure. “What’s up?” A guy had to play it casual and make it seem like he could just as easily walk away as staying to talk. I knew all the tricks.

“I wanted to speak to you in private,” she said, and I glanced around. There was an unmarked door down the opposite wall a few feet away. Moving next to it. I tested a knob, surprised when it opened. Peering inside, I saw it was a small supply closet, big enough to hold a vacuum, a couple of brooms and some cleaning supplies.

Turning, I smiled and gestured to her. “Step into my private office then.”

Happily, she entered without question. Yep, I’d pegged it just right. I knew exactly what she wanted from me. Too bad she wasn’t going to get it, but I was going to get what I wanted from her.

Ten minutes later, I stepped out of the closet, zipping my pants up over my penis, which was now smeared with red lipstick, and carrying a card with her private number on it so we could hook up again later. Margo wouldn’t need any of those lip plumping injections she was famous for any time soon. I’d fucked the shit out of those lips. They were going to be nice and swollen, at least for the rest of the evening.

Glancing around to make sure Penelope was nowhere in sight, I slipped out the back exit. The waiting limousine was sitting right where I told the driver to park, in the lot behind Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. Flinging the door open, I slipped inside and found a grinning Stephanie. Smiling, I felt proud I remembered her name, especially since I’d been with someone else in the thirty minutes since I’d seen her.

“Ready to pick up where we left off?” she asked, holding the mirror out toward me.

With more coke? Hell, yes. The answer was always yes to coke, but I like to space it out at decent intervals. Cocaine could turn a person into a sexual beast with a drive that was insane, but too much could kill it just as quickly.

“You have no idea how ready,” I replied, thumping my fist against the roof and the car pulled away from the curb. Taking the mirror, I accepted the rolled up bill she handed me and began snorting away, hoping to feel some blessed relief from the demons working overtime in my head.

Wincing slightly, I mustered enough energy to crack open one eye before immediately shutting it again, the filtered sunlight almost too much to bear. It took several moments before I ventured an attempt again, this time glancing around as my vision adjusted.

Where the hell was I?

Nothing in the room looked familiar, and a quick inspection of the bed revealed not one, but two very naked girls. One of them I recognized from last night—Stephanie. She’d been the party girl sent with the drugs I’d ordered. Had we ordered more? I seriously couldn’t remember hardly anything about last night. It was all a blur—but I liked it that way. It got me out of my own head.

Groaning slightly, I reached under the sheet and palmed my dick. It seemed pretty tender, suggesting a lot of hard fucking had happened. Glancing back at the slumbering women, I hoped they’d enjoyed it. For that matter, I hope that I had enjoyed it, too.

Thankfully, I wasn’t stuck in the middle of the two. Moving carefully, I stood and began gathering pieces of clothing, putting them on as I recovered them. My phone was still in my pocket, but I couldn’t even call for a cab. I had no idea where I was.

Quietly, I slipped out the door, into a hallway with a bunch of other doors like this one. Clearly I was in an apartment building. I made my way downstairs and out onto the street.

Residential.

I was unfamiliar with this part of town, despite living here for ten years. It wasn’t the first time I’d waken and not known where I was. In fact, it was happening a lot more frequently. Guilt pricked at my conscience. Apparently I wasn’t one of those people who learned from my past mistakes. I brushed that thought away before I could dwell on it any further.

Walking down to the corner, I read the street signs, quickly taking out my phone and calling a cab, before settling down on the sidewalk to wait. Patting my coat, which was way too hot to be wearing this morning, I located my sunglasses I always carried, just in case there was a need to hide my identity a little. I slipped them on, even though sitting on a corner in a crumpled suit was probably going to make me stick out like a sore thumb anyway.

If only my diehard fans could see me now. They’d think of me a whole lot differently. Everyone idolized me. People constantly told me how lucky I was, and how they wished they could trade places with me.

Bullshit. It was all bullshit. I wasn’t even close to the person I’d been portrayed as. Nope, I was just a chicken shit—a washed up sell out with no happiness in his life.

Sure, I had it all—the glass penthouse in the sky, bought with my massive fat paychecks. I had cars, and fancy clothes, along with every tech gadget in the world. Women were always after me. Most men wanted to be me. But at what cost? What did it really matter?

My life meant nothing to me. It was just a blur of different faces, most of who were only interested in what I could give them. Of course, I guess I was using all of them in some form or another, too.

Staring at my phone, which was somehow still clinging to life, I wondered if I had enough battery to check my texts and messages.

“Oh my gosh, Z. Where the hell are you? Everyone is asking for you.” Penelope’s frantic voice filled my ear and I felt my second twinge of guilt. She was a good assistant. It was wrong of me to ditch her like I had and leave her holding the bag.

More messages of the same ilk left me feeling pretty sucky, but the last one took the cake. It had been sent this morning. Glancing at the time, I realized it was almost ten AM.

Shit! I had press junkets I was supposed to do today.

“Z, so help me if you don’t call me the minute you get this, I will hunt you down and shoot you myself. The studio is on my back this morning, as well as the media, thanks to your little drunken display last night. I need to speak with you immediately. Your future depends on it! Call me now!”

Drunken display? What the hell was she talking about?

Hurriedly, I typed my name into the search bar and several article headlines immediately came up.

Z McCartney Disappears from the Kodak Theater at Premiere!”

Z McCartney Viral Video Tells What He’s Really Been Doing!”

Hollywood’s Finest at His Not So Finest!”

Clicking one of the links, I watched in horror as someone captured me coming out of a club, stumbling, as I attempted to walk with my arms around two girls . . . the two I’d found in bed with me this morning. Well, that was good, wasn’t it? I’d stuck to the original two. There’d been nights I’d woken up in a room full of people after a party, and I had no idea who I’d slept with, only knowing that I’d slept with someone—or lots of “someones,” depending on the party.

This wasn’t so bad.

The video kept rolling though, giving me a sinking feeling. Jaw clenched, I watched as I pushed one of the girls against the wall, the one who wasn’t Stephanie—kissing her heavily as my hand drifted lower, hiking up her short skirt.

“Oh. Em. Gee! I swear he’s going to do her right against the wall!” an overly excited female voice said from behind the camera.

“Get a room!” Someone else shouted and more people started crowding around, jostling whoever was holding the camera.

Another voice started belting out, “Bow chicka wow wow!”

Nerves tightening, I forced myself to continue watching as I ravished this woman, grateful when the tape finally clicked off. Skimming the rest of the article, I read that the video in its entirety was not available due to its extremely graphic nature.

“Well, fuck!” There was no doubt about it. I’d made a really big mess of things this time and I was definitely in a whole lot of hot water.

Pocketing my phone, I still didn’t call Penelope. If things were already this bad, there was nothing I could do about it, so as far as I was concerned, my top priority was a shower, a nap, and maybe a couple more lines of coke before I addressed the shit hitting the fan.


Watch the Shocking Viral Video that has Hollywood Superstar, Z McCartney, in Trouble with the Law!”

~Hollywood Grapevine~

Chapter Two

Z


Feeling as if my head was going to split open, I sat slouched in a rather comfy leather chair in some executive office. Glancing briefly around, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever been in this room before, but really, I didn’t care. A fistful of my hair was clenched in one hand, as I listened to the ranting coming at me full force from Penelope, interspersed with comments from my agent, Luke Hayward, and my lawyer, Mike Larson.

“I don’t think you’re understanding just how serious this is!” Penelope continued on. “Some big changes are going to need to be made!” Whenever she was upset with me like this, it seemed as if her voice got higher and higher until it reached an octave only dogs could hear. Driving a nail through my skull sounded more appealing.

“If we can even recover from something like this,” Luke muttered, his tie askew and the top button of his shirt undone. I’d never seen him this ruffled before. Apparently things were bad—worse than I’d thought.

“We also have legal issues to address with the police. They’re wanting to press charges for indecent exposure,” Mike added, staring at me as if I’d committed the most heinous of crimes.

“The studio is wanting to get you into rehab.” Penelope’s eyes were glittering with anger. I wasn’t surprised. She didn’t like cleaning up my messes.

“Whatever,” I growled out, irritated by the whole subject. “I do not need to go to rehab. Seriously? One strike and I’m out—just like that?”

“One strike?” Penelope’s eyes widened so big, I feared they might actually pop out of her head. “What about the girls you snuck into your trailer on set so you could party with them—remember? You missed your call time and people had to come looking for you, but you were so strung out by that point they had to put shooting off for a day. Or what about the time they had to have a medic come give you an IV to help flush out the damn hangover you had? Or the time you left set in the middle of filming for no reason at all?”

“I had a reason,” I mumbled, remembering the cute redhead I skipped out to party with. “It just wasn’t a very good one.” I’d gotten in so much trouble I’d even been docked pay. It sucked, too. She wasn’t even that good of a fuck.

“The point is, you’re making bad choices and it’s plain to anyone watching that you are sinking fast and you need some help.”

“Hey, I still got their damn movie filmed, didn’t I? I did a good job and finished the product on time. This scandal is just more publicity for their film. They should be eating it up.”

“Except that you just portrayed a recovering addict and then basically thumbed your nose at everyone while you went out and participated in the same behavior. It’s a bit insulting, if you ask me.” Penelope’s hands were on her hips and she was glaring at me like I was a child.

Damn, she was hot when she was mad. Too bad I thought of her as more of a sister than a fling. Not that she’d give me the time of day. Penelope never crossed lines with her clients. She made that very clear from day one. I’d respected that and never made a pass at her. In fact, she might be the only woman I saw on a regular basis that I’d never had a sexual relationship with. It simply wasn’t in the cards, and I was okay with that.

“Well, fine. Tell them to walk away, then. I’m finished making their film and I’ll be ready to start shooting for the new one next week.”

“That’s the problem. There is no new film next week,” Luke jumped in, not a hint of humor in his eyes.

“What?” Now I felt my panic level rising. Something was wrong with the film? Was the studio angry? Had the project been put on hold? I’d never had anyone cancel me before. Surely they wouldn’t start now over something as dumb as public sex. Would they?

If they wanted my attention, they had it.


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