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The Failed Heist

By D. Spencer



Copyright 2018 D. Spencer

Published by Slick Media, LLC at Smashwords



All rights reserved.



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Cover photo originally by Tutto Giardinaggio, shared under Creative Commons after modifications.



Joffrey walked down the stairs into the basement, smiling at the scent of fear. He could smell urine and desperation, and he smiled in anticipation before he saw the woman tied to the chair, and it took a moment for him to keep his composure. His niece Rae was under the lone light bulb, and the streaks of tear stained mascara were more prominent to him than her nudity was.

“How’s this one been so far?” Joffrey asked, giving Rae a subtle wink of his eye. “You were wonderfully cruel to the last girl, but this one is more beautiful than any woman I’ve ever seen.”

Anton shrugged one shoulder. “Eh, I not care. The father is rich, but I have found nothing in the house. This one says she doesn’t know the combination to the safe I found in the closet, and I think I believe her. I haven’t done anything fun with her yet though.”

Joffrey walked over to Rae, his features softening as he kissed her cheek, then stood behind her and combed her hair with his fingers.

“If the safe was in the parent’s closet, I’d assume that it was a secret from the children. Why would you expect this girl to know secrets like that? There’s no point in going further with her if you want the parent’s treasures.”

“Yes, true,” Anton said, smiling as he walked towards Rae. “She might not know what secrets I need, but this one is gorgeous. Tonight I shall feast on her beauty. Her screams will be music to my ears.”

Joining the other man by Rae’s knees, Joffrey reached down to touch his niece. “I couldn’t agree more, my friend. She is truly gorgeous, and she doesn’t deserve such fools like us. If she’s lucky, she will get married to the scum of the earth, like a lawyer or politician. She’ll be rich and want for nothing, as long as she’s able to ignore the fact that her rich husband is nothing more than a legal version of the criminal scum we’re accused of being.”

“In that case, we should make her appreciate what kind of scum that criminals like us can be,” Anton said with an evil chuckle. “I’m gonna have fun making this bitch bleed, but I won’t go too far, I’ll make sure she remembers me for the rest of her shitty rich life.”

Anton knelt in front of Rae, reaching up to wipe away her silent tears. He pushed her knees apart and held onto her shoulders, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the nose.

“Don’t worry my dear, this will be over soon enough. Well, you know, not super fast, I need to make sure you know how beautiful I think you are, and I’ll do my best to be sure you’re still as sexy as ever when I’m done with you.”

Rae coughed through the gag in her mouth, then she tried to scream as her eyes opened wide. Every muscle in her body tensed up and she tried to turn her chair away as she tried to hide herself from the monster that Anton had turned into.

With a guttural roar, Joffrey swung the piece of lumber like a baseball bat. It struck Anton’s head just above his ear, and the muffled sound echoed through the basement. Rae whimpered to see the look of pain in Anton’s eyes, but she didn’t feel an ounce of sorrow for him.

Joffrey adjusted his grip and swung again, this time going straight down onto his supposed friend’s shoulder. The bone gave way to the force of the blow, making Anton cry out as his arm fell loosely to his side. He held out his working arm to try and deflect the next swing, but Joffrey anticipated the move, his next aim was straight between the other man’s eyes.

Anton fell without a sound, besides the smack of the two by four, but when his head hit the concrete floor with a hollow smack, the sound bounced across the walls. Joffrey calmly walked towards his partner in crime, looking down at him with an expression of rage. He was silent except for three grunts, each one caused by the effort of driving the heel of his boot into the lying man’s throat.

“Sorry about that,” Joffrey whispered to Rae, turning to her while flicking open his knife. He cut the five ropes binding her to the chair, then took off his shirt and draped it across her bare body before turning around. “Anton was the guy you heard about on the news that had robbed a few places in the neighborhood, and I know for a fact that he… Well, he...” Joffrey paused took a knee by the dead man, trying to contain himself.

“This piece of shit was personally responsible for the deaths of two other young ladies like yourself in the past month, and even though I wasn’t around for the acts where he defiled them, I saw the aftermath. You have no idea how happy I am to have been here to keep you from being number three, but I’m sorry you had to go through what you did. His death was entirely too easy for my tastes. After what he did, I would have preferred to take hours making his ride to hell a memorable journey.”

Rae held the shirt closed with one hand as she reached for her uncle. She put her face into his chest as she cried, looking up at him two minutes later.

“Why did he do this? Joffrey? Why? What would make somebody be that evil?”

“This was a paycheck to him, baby girl. I’m sorry for you to find out this way, but my respectable job doesn’t pay much, so I freelance a bit like this a few times a year to make ends meet. I’m not getting rich off of this kind of stuff, but at least I can pay my bills. Anton here though, he did this stuff for fun.”

“Fun? Seriously? Joffrey, he was going to rape me and kill me. How does someone do that for fun?”

Joffrey chuckled and turned away, kneeling down to dig through the pockets of the man on the floor. He pocketed the phone and money, giving Rae a level stare.

“People can be assholes,” he said quietly. “All throughout history, you’ll see it happen, and Anton here is one of those who would probably been a better fit to be born in the Viking era. Pillaging, killing, raping, stealing, burning, doing all of those things to terrorize towns and cities, with the side benefit of making a living. Anton died too easily tonight, his type should be drawn and quartered, but society is too polite for that nowadays. Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah, I think so. He was… He… Uncle Joffrey, can you come here? I need you.”

“I’m so sorry about all of this, Rae,” Joffrey whispered into her hair as he hugged her. “When Anton texted me the address for tonight’s hit, I had a bad feeling about it. Believe it or not, killing him was the first thing on my mind when I came down here. I’m sorry you had to see and experience what you did, but I hope you’ll feel safer knowing that this idiot has been removed from the planet.”

“He didn’t do anything but touch me, which was scary enough, but thank you for saving me from him. What are we going to do now? Should we call the police?”

“No, no, that’s not how things work in my world,” Joffrey chuckled, patting her on the back. “I need to take an unscheduled fishing trip in an hour or so, and with the help of a machete or a saw, mister Anton here is going to be the bait. Or maybe I’ll be lazy and just use a few pre-formed cement foundation bricks inside a duffel bag that doubles as his coffin.”

Rae pulled away and put her hands on her hips, ignoring the way her shirt parted down the middle, her eyes fixed on her uncle’s. “After what he did to me, plus what he was going to do, I’m going to have to insist that I help you. Don’t even say no, and when we get past the seawall, you’re going to give me that saw without a word.”

Smiling slightly, Joffrey shrugged one shoulder. His eyes narrowed as he looked at the determination on his niece’s face, then laughed quietly.

“He surely had this coming, and to tell you the truth, I kind of wish he was still alive right now, because I’d like to see the look on his face when you bring your righteous rage to bear on him. He’s nothing better than shark food right now, so I wouldn’t chance getting in your way. If it makes you feel better, I’m sure I could probably find a wood chipper to feed him through.”

Rae looked at the dead man between them, shaking her head.

“You know what? That sounds fun right now, but honestly I’d rather do it myself. It’s kind of therapeutic, if you know what I mean.”

Joffrey leaned forward to kiss his niece on the forehead. “I’m going to make a couple of calls, so you do whatever you want to. I’ll be a smidge disappointed if there’s not at least one hole in this idiot on the floor, but that’s all up to you. I think I’ll be leaving in about twenty minutes, so if you want to get dressed or take a steaming hot shower or anything, that’s your call.”

“Fifteen minutes, got it,” Rae said, taking a deep breath and staring steadily into her uncle’s eyes. “Don’t you dare leave without me. That fucker is fish food, and I want to make him go down.”


( .)(. )


“How much longer are we going to sail into nowhere?”

Joffrey laughed and pointed at the tablet computer mounted above the boat’s steering wheel.

“The chart says that in two more miles, we will be over a trench that’s almost a mile deep. Anton’s dumb ass deserves to be buried deep, so that’s where we’ll stop. Did you have a special request or anything? Did you want to throw an arm or leg outside of the ride while it’s in motion?”

Rae stuck out her tongue and smacked her uncle in the shoulder, turning away and taking two steps before turning around.

“That sounds fun in theory, but really, I just want to get this over with. The whole thing about slicing and dicing makes my stomach turn. If we can deep-six that idiot’s corpse as soon as possible, that would make me happy. Besides, it’s like two in the morning and I’m tired as hell.”

Joffrey pushed the button to enable the auto-pilot, then stepped back to make sure they were following the GPS signal before sitting down at the back of the cabin. He looked across the dimly lit room at the angry face of his niece, smiling to see the intensity of her gaze.

“I brought a big bag, cement blocks, heavy chains, and a seriously sharp machete. I like fishing, and I can fillet a salmon any day, but I hate doing that to a human. I’d much rather poke a few holes and dump the trash, so it looks like we are on the same schedule here. Would you like to help me bag up the fish food?”


( .)(. )


They both heaved while pulling the heavy bag over the stern, and setting it on the swim step of the boat, Joffrey and Rae wiped the sweat from their faces. Rae gave her uncle a smile when she reached inside the aft storage locker and her hand came out holding the machete.

“This one is for Rachael,” she yelled, using both hands to drive the blade into the green bag. “And this one is for Tammy, they were my friends you fucking asshole,” Rae screamed while stabbing down twice. “And this… This is for me, you raping, murdering thief!”

Rae stabbed the bag holding Anton’s body a dozen times, and she was crying for the last three hits. She sank to her knees on the back of the boat. The waves came up to wash away the slight traces of blood leaking out, and the young woman accepted the hand Joffrey offered her to help stand.

She sat sideways across the transom and watched as Joffrey heaved half of the bag across the edge, then he paused and looked at her expectantly.

“Don’t you want to help? I thought that this was most of the reason that you wanted to come with me tonight.”

Rae took a long shuddering breath, then nodded her head and stood up. She kicked the dry end of the bag, then knelt down and joined Joffrey as he grabbed the fabric. With a grunt, she pushed it off of the platform, then reached down to grab several handfuls of water to wash away the remaining blood by her knees.

“There, it’s done,” Rae said, taking a seat again on the transom. “Anton’s dumb ass is going to be only useful as crab food, and if his corpse is found some time this century, it will be too soon.”

“Agreed,” Joffrey laughed, then walked towards the cabin. “I’m going to point this thing towards home, and if you’d like to join me for a drink I’d appreciate it. I don’t like burying people without a drink to send them on, no matter what kind of assholes they were in life. It’s kind of a thing for me.”

“One thing I’ve heard of that never made sense to me until now was the erotic part.”

Joffrey stopped and turned, looking at his niece with confusion.

“No, I’m serious,” Rae said. “I’ve heard that after a conflict that ends violently, there’s usually a need to fuck. Like with the Vikings you mentioned earlier, and all that raping and pillaging. I was almost raped and murdered tonight, but instead you killed the asshole, and I helped give him a burial at sea. I can’t even begin to explain it, but Joffrey, I can’t tell you why, but life goes the way it has to.”

Rae backed up until her legs bumped into the transom, staring at her uncle. She took her clothes off and dropped them at her feet, her eyes never once leaving his, and she shivered briefly when the wind picked up. Her feet were spread so she could stand steady against the waves rocking the boat, and she saw Joffrey staring between her thighs.

“A few hours ago, you saw me naked for the first time ever. I was petrified that I couldn’t cover up, but now I want you to see me,” Rae whispered, reaching one hand up to pinch a nipple. “There’s nobody around to see us, and we can’t tell anybody about anything that happened tonight, which this is going to be a part of. Please, Joffrey, come here and fulfill destiny’s requirement for me. One way or another, I was going to be fucked good and hard, and I’d rather it be you than anyone else. I’d rather have you than Anton, and right now his sinking corpse reminds me that I need this closure.”

Joffrey took a step back, kneeling to take a bottle of whiskey from underneath one of the seats. His gaze never left Rae’s face, and he smiled when he turned the key to silence the engine.

“Care to join me for a drink? I think we have an engine problem, so we may not get back until sunrise.”



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~~~ The End ~~~

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